Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Have They Been Taught?

I thought this post on "Sexual Misconduct in Dating -- and what it does to the mind of the woman" was rather interesting.  Here's an excerpt:
President Hinkley was once asked something like, “The unmarried of the church are unclear about what it means to stay morally clean.”  President Hinkley replied with something like, “Oh they know (the rules), they know.”

Unfortunately, I have repeatedly been told stories of behaviors that cause me to believe that either some of my brethren out there either don’t know the rules, or need to be reminded of them and the effects of not following them.
I, too, believe, for the most part, the unmarried know "the rules," but the tendency to justify breaking them must be huge.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Language of Children

A bit back I read a post on MMB by Braden Bell entitled, Getting What You Want in Your Marriage regarding communication.   He addressed the situation where women (in general) drop hints rather than asking directly for something.  I probably drop hints more often than I think I do because I've always figured it was the more polite way to ask for something.  I guess I've felt that if I have to say, "Honey, will you grab the screaming baby out of my arms so I can put the gallon of milk back in the fridge?" it would insult my husband's intelligence because shouldn't it be obvious that if I were holding a screaming child while trying to get the milk back in the fridge, that I would need help?  Well, apparently, it's better to ask specifically, than to assume that my husband will know that I need help.

As I've thought dropping hints was the superior way to communicate, rather than to insult someone's intelligence, I was surprised when Bell suggested this type of communication was inferior and ineffective compared to just asking.  (OK, maybe he didn't actually say inferior and ineffective, but he definitely didn't favor hinting!)

OK, now to my point.  I just started reading Between Parent and Child by Haim Ginott.  Chapter One is entitled, "The Code of Communication."  On page 5, Ginott suggests that children speak "in a code that requires deciphering," and on page 6 mentions children asking "hidden questions."  I was intrigued because the language of children sure sounded a lot like the communication of (some) women.  If that is true, and there are more similarities between the way children and women communicate, doesn't that give a bit of weight to mothers being the primary nurturers?

My next question is, so when do boys stop speaking the "language of children" and move onto the more direct language of men(/adults)?

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

True Beauty

This from Mona at MMB:

I learned that I had put too much emphasis on “mastering” my body, instead of figuring out how to work in harmony with it: reminding myself of the authentic reasons for having a body: to build the Kingdom of God on earth by freely sharing what my body can do for family and others.  (Stretch marks, grandma jelly-bellies, dishpan hands, and dark circles under the eyes have a glorious aspect!) In this paradigm, caring for and respecting the body is not only an advantage in this life, but will be “so much the advantage in the world to come”. Who, I reasoned, will have the greatest satisfaction on resurrection morning – she who revered, honored, and shared that part of her soul called “body”, or she who ill-fed, hoarded, complained about, or degraded it?