I think I've finally figured out cleaning!

About 6 years ago we moved to a different house.  I think I've finally just figured out a cleaning routine for it!  I had the old house all figured out and timed, but that was when I had just 2 kids, and not 4 who make much bigger messes.  I always feel like I'm ALWAYS cleaning, but there are ALWAYS more messes, and I can never keep up.

I'm all for having kids help with family work, but I've had such a hard time implementing it.  I've also been kind of anti-Saturday chores because they just get in the way of other plans.  However, I've been converted, and Saturday chores are the answers to all my cleaning problems!

If you're like me, you want the house cleaned the way you want it.  You don't want a sloppy job on the mirrors and windows, you want every spot off the counter, etc., BUT, you also don't want to micromanage your kids and make them feel bad about the work they are doing and trying so hard to do right.

I also like the house clean for Sunday, which necessitates cleaning on Saturday.  But, once the weekend is over, the house is a disaster on Monday.  So, I've started cleaning the house during the week like I've always done the way I want it, then I have the kids somewhat re-do it on Saturday to their ability.  That means it's kind of getting done twice!

During the week, I get the counters and mirrors to my standards, then on Saturday, they do the best they can with them and it's good enough for Sunday.  During the week, I vacuum, but, yes, it needs to be done more than once (really every day, but that's not going to happen at this house), so I let the kids also do it Saturday.  Win-win! 

Because I'm trying to keep the basics under control like laundry, dishes*, bathrooms, kitchen floor, it doesn't leave a lot of time for baseboards and walls and light switch cover plates and chairs and kitchen table.  Bam!  Kid Saturday jobs!  Now I may have done those once a year before (I know, gross), but if the kids are wiping a couple things down each week, even if they don't do a great job, those things will surface to the top of the list again in a few weeks.

My oldest kids are getting roughly 3 jobs a Saturday, and the younger one, one or two, so they really don't complain.  If they do, I remind them that we're a team and if they want to go out and do activities, which take time, then I need their help around the house.  Now, if someone has a Saturday activity, like our 10-year old did last week, I just made up the list early and let him do his jobs on Friday.  Really, Friday jobs would be fine rather than Saturday, I'm just not quite pulled together with my list by then, though.

I asked some ladies when life starts to get easier a little over a year ago.  They said when your oldest is 9.  My oldest was about 9 by then, and I do think it started getting easier.  However, now that he's 10, it's getting even better.  For me, I don't think having the kids help this much before age 9 would have really helped me.  It probably would have made me more frustrated.

My friend recently posted this cleaning expectation chart on Facebook, that I thought was good.  Of course we all have our own variations, but it's something to start from.

There was recently a post about how one mom keeps her house clean.  Honestly, it made me feel pretty lousy because some of her monthly stuff was my yearly stuff; her weekly stuff was my monthly stuff; and some of her stuff wasn't even on my list.  I thought it was good in theory, and it reminded me of things I need to also do, but I can only do so much, and that's okay.

*I would have the kids help more with the dishes, but we have these super-sensitive cabinets that the finish is coming off of, and I know it will only be worse if I have little helpers.  Gotta figure that one out.

Cleaning Strategy

This was my friend's Facebook status -- I had to save it for future reference!

Contest with the kids: I clean the entire upstairs (3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, office, kitchen, living room, laundry room). They clean the entire basement (2 bedrooms, play room, family room, 1 bathroom). First one to finish wins their choice of treat and movie. You would think I have the short end of the stick, but you have not seen our basement. We have paused for dinner . . . , but they are soooo excited about the fact that they are winning. 

Post-Dinner & Opera-Style Clean-Up

If you're like me, you're always up for a new tip on how to get the kids to help with housework.  Well, here's our latest if you need yet another idea.

Usually we eat dinner then are off to do something, and we fail to do the dishes or straighten up the house.   Then, my husband and I end up doing housework after the kids go to bed.  I was getting pretty sick of it, and finally said to my husband that the kids should just have to wait for us to get the dishes done right after dinner, and they should help clean up the messes they made.  

So, we tried it.  After dinner, we worked on dishes while the kids de-cluttered.  It was amazing.  I felt so liberated not having to clean up after everyone else.  It also gives me time to exercise after the kids go to bed!

Also, we have one particularly messy, unmotivated daughter (especially when it comes to things she doesn't want to do).  For some reason, though, she thought it was so fun to clean if we gave her the instructions opera style.  She was sad when the whole house was straightened because she wanted to do more (I guess we could have done the basement...).

Why Having Someone Else Clean My House Makes Me a Better Mom

A couple years ago, a friend told me that an older neighbor mentioned to her something about the cleanliness of the house reflecting upon the woman of the house.  I think my friend and I were both a bit surprised. I haven't felt like it reflects on me (maybe I should, though), but on the family (and the amount of chaos it is in at the time).  I do like my house clean because I like it clean.  It stresses me out if it's not clean.

Anyway, during the last month before I had my baby (now almost 3 months old!), I had a 13-year old in the neighborhood come help clean my house because I knew I just wouldn't want to (or couldn't) do it.  I told her I'd also want her to come clean the first 6 weeks after the baby was born, and then again before the baby blessing.  Someone in her family would drop her off; she'd mop, vacuum, clean bathrooms, and whatever else I asked her to do.  Then, her family would pick her up when we were done.  There were some great advantages to this.

1.  My house was cleaner.  While she did her jobs (the basics usually), I did other jobs.  We got more done than had been done in a long time!  Even during the week, I'd work on jobs that didn't normally get done (like clean the grill on the fridge) instead of fretting about the regular jobs that constantly needed to be done.

2.  I was less stressed about the house.  I knew if I couldn't get to cleaning jobs during the week, she would when she came.  I was able to let go a little bit and have more fun with the kids and not worry that we/they were making messes.

3.  The house actually got really clean once a week for about an hour!

4.  She got a good experience, earned some money, and I felt good about paying her.

5.  She's a very good cleaner and even if it's not as good as I *might* do it, what she does is way better then when I *don't* do it.

The only disadvantage was that I feel like the family (kids particularly) need to be helping out around the house.  I really like it when they de-clutter and I clean.  It makes me feel like we're a team. 

So, for the most part, I love having someone help me out.  Even yesterday, I thought I might be able to stand to have more kids if I have more help!  I say, house-cleaners for all if it helps us appreciate being moms more.*   Try it, if you haven't, and tell me how it goes!


I might just have to try it for the rest of the summer!


*You know what else helps me be a happier mom?  Massages.  When I was pregnant, I got one every other week and it honestly made a world of difference.  Insurances should cover pregnancy massages.  Women would feel so much better!  (I've actually struggled with lower back pain over the years, especially during pregnancy -- including sciatica -- and the massages have made this last pregnancy the most comfortable pregnancy yet.  I've even gone to physical therapy for my SI joint in the past.  But, through the massages, I think I've identified that when my IT band is tight, then it throws out my SI joint.  Maybe?).

Update 6/5/12:  My husband mentioned last night that when he read this post that he hoped we weren't becoming "those people" who are out of touch with reality because of me and my massages and our house cleaner helper.  Then I realized we each choose our luxuries, don't we?  Just to feel better I have to say, I've never had my hair colored, never had a manicure or a pedicure, and don't even have a smart phone, a Kindle-type device, or a Wii.  I know there are PLENTY of people out there who don't have ANY of these luxuries I mention, and I think that's fine (we're way too entitled in our country).  I feel pretty blessed for having massages and a house cleaner helper.

Keeping the sanity amidst the housework

Although we value these [career] opportunities for women, motherhood and homemaking suffer. Mothering and creating homes are knitted tightly together, but in recent years they have disappeared from American society as natural and valued pathways for women. Instead the message seems to be that if mothers have access to modern conveniences to care for their homes and families, then they should be free to seek their own fulfillment. Women and men often end up in conflict over the seemingly burdensome work in the home because they want to pursue personal interests and activities. Home is often erroneously considered a place from which women need to break free. Some ideologies would have women think that home duties limit their full potential, and women and men are tempted to disregard the important, everyday aspects of homelife—thus the loss of our rolling pins and brooms.

-- Shirley Klein, http://speeches.byu.edu/reader/reader.php?id=8958&x=66&y=6

With the more kids I have, the more difficult it is to keep a clean house.  I think most of us feel saner when the house is clean, but we feel insane having to clean up after everyone all the time!  Didn't I just do this not even an hour ago?

In addition to the above quote, I've heard it said that women can be free to go out of the home and get a job because of our so many modern conveniences.  I read something recently, can't remember where, that said, sure, we have all these great inventions, but someone still has to do the laundry, unload the dishwasher, clean the bathroom, drive the kids wherever, etc. 

I also read somewhere else that women are tired of trying to take on both roles of homemaker and breadwinner, so if they can make it on one income, they are trying because it's easier not to take on multiple roles.

For the past 6 weeks or so, I've been following my own chore chart.  I do two or three chores each day, Monday through Saturday.  Dishes, sweeping, and laundry are not on the list because they have to be done so frequently.  So now, rather than trying to clean the house in a one or two day period, I just do about 20 minutes a day (in addition to sweeping, laundry, or dishes), and I can tell you the house is cleaner than it has been in years.  I love it!

Another thing I've started recently is watching TV or a movie while I clean up the kitchen at night.  We're not big TV/movie people around here, so this is big for me.  I do usually listen to books while I exercise, but I haven't really done it for anything else.  The book I was listening to was boring, so I borrowed a few movies from my parents.  The housework is so much more enjoyable!  In fact, I've tried to find more things to clean just so I can watch my movie!

I have a friend who cleans for about 15 minutes each night, and her house is nearly always spic and span.

What do you do? How do you keep your sanity amidst the housework?