The Storm Is Here, and We Weren't Prepared

Where I live, we recently had some extremely severe winds that blew down giant trees and fences and blew off lots and lots of shingles.  The majority of our city lost power for as little as a few hours, but some people lost power for up to a few days.  I've always thought of myself as a pretty prepared person -- I'm pretty sure we have our year's supply of food, and we also have our 72 hour kits. We have at least some wood for fuel.  We keep some extra gasoline in the garage for cars and bought a nice grill for fun grilling and emergency cooking.

With these storms, however, we realized we were much better prepared for a summer disaster, not a winter one.  We weren't sure how to cook food indoors safely.  With 100 mph cold wind gusts, I really didn't want to cook outside on the deck.  Sure, we had wood, but it needed to be split to be burned in our fireplace.  Considering I was 6 or so months pregnant, I really didn't want to be out splitting wood anyway (my husband had gone to work).  We also realized that with our somewhat open floor plan on our main floor where the fireplace is, we couldn't just shut off one room and keep it warm.  We still haven't figured out solutions to the cooking and heating problems, but need to.  (In case you were wondering, we ended up leaving our house when it got down to 55 and went to a friend's who had a gas fireplace in a room that could be closed off.  We ate dinner at a restaurant that had power.  For the night we went about 45 minutes away and stayed with friends whose area had been unaffected.)

It seems like just as this severe wind storm crept up on us, the evils of pornography have crept up on us as a society.  I hate to say it, but it's as though Satan's strategies in preparing the world for this day have worked.  The moral fibers of society have been weakened enough that pornography is generally accepted.  The devil and his angels must laugh at our unpreparedness.

Last night we had our adult session of stake conference.  Our stake president mentioned that young men are getting exposed to pornography at age 10, 11, 12, and 13, but because because it's an addiction that is kept quiet and is relatively easy to hide, these boys don't get help until they are 16, 17, or 18 -- giving them up to 8 years of use, thus making it very difficult to overcome.

Tragedy, yes, but there are things we can do to win this war.

• For one, our stake president encouraged us to have "spiritual courage" within our families and also to reach out to others with Christlike love who are struggling.  We need to pray to know how to help others.  We need to stand up and speak up against things that are harmful.  Leaders were encouraged to intervene with youth early so we can head off this problem.  My husband plans to talk to the 14 & 15 year olds he teaches at church and also speak to our 8 1/2 year old (again) about this.  (I realized the other day that our little boy is half way to independence -- going to college and potentially moving out of the house!  I wonder if we've taught him half of what he needs to know to face the world.  Have we armed him thus far?  I feel there's so much more we need to do to prepare him for life ahead.  I hope we can stay close.)

• I mentioned it before, but again,  Jocelyn's, God Gave You a Body lesson is a great way to bring up the sacredness of the body with young children.

• Also again, Stephanie's Satan's Power Tool post gives us ideas on how to talk to our families about this problem.  Particularly striking regarding our husbands:

If your husband has a heartbeat, he struggles with [pornography] on some level.  The world is cruel to him in its blatant temptation and oppressive titillation.  If he watched the Super Bowl, he’s seen pornography (for heaven’s sake, don’t get me started).  Talk to him about it.  Ask him how he’s doing:  What can you do to help him?  What steps can your family take to help him feel protected?  What measures does he currently use to avoid the temptation?  Be prepared to feel threatened a little as you learn what a real struggle it might be for him to stay unharmed by the storm.  Cling to each other a little tighter.  Express your love for him and your desire that he remain clean.  Encourage him to fight the hard fight.  Pray for him, and pray together.  Talk about your covenants and go to the temple often to remember them and reconnect to them.

• Out in the Light encourages a Clean and Safe Media Pledge:

•  The Combating Pornography website also gives 10 suggestions on how to protect your home.

• At Julie Beck's 2009 Women's Conference address, she reminds us that we women have the responsibility to protect our homes (and ourselves) from pornography.  This is the talk where she said, "Sisters, fight -- fight, sisters" regarding pornography.  That call can be likened to a story I shared before:

. . . Erastus Snow, under the direction of Brigham Young, told [a] stake president he needed to stop 'going "heart and hand with the gentiles"' by "selling and drinking liquor dispensed at the LDS co-op store" or he'd be replaced.  Snow told the women: "I advise you sisters to get together in the capacity of a Relief Society, and gut the store of every drop of liquor in it, and spill the liquor on the ground."

Now Julie Beck didn't say to go to the local adult store or even the local grocery store and tear up all the nasty magazines, but she did say to take action within our stewardships, our homes, and to fight for them.

She encourages us to fight when she says:

• We cannot sit and act like victims
• We must teach our families everywhere:  in family home evenings, prayer & scripture study, mealtimes -- both formally and informally
• We must limit activities that take us to and fro

• I feel that the most important thing we need to teach our children to withstand pornography is personal integrity.  We need to teach them what is good and wholesome and pray with all our mights that they will choose what is good and wholesome.  We need to teach them that it's okay to be different; it's okay to not do what everyone else appears to be doing.  

Some people simply define integrity as telling the truth, but I look at it as so much more comprehensive.  My integrity defines who I am.  Will I do what I say I will?  Do I act consistently with what I profess I believe?  I am reminded of the Karl Maeser story about honor:

I have been asked what I mean by 'word of honor.' I will tell you. Place me behind prison walls--walls of stone ever so high, ever so thick, reaching ever so far into the ground--there is a possibility that in some way or another I may escape; but stand me on the floor and draw a chalk line around me and have me give my word of honor never to cross it. Can I get out of the circle? No. Never! I'd die first!

That is integrity.

• The very last thing I wanted to mention was regarding the use of media.  Bad media is all around us.  If we do our best to avoid it, not let it infiltrate our minds, we will be so much better off.  We must avoid ANY movies or t.v. or music that is not uplifting -- the stakes are too high when we let even a little bit in.  Do we want to be close to God, or don't we?  I once heard a story by a guy who was trying to overcome a drug addiction, and he felt that he should change his music.  He started avoiding any music that wasn't uplifting and he felt a change in his life.  He was able to be closer to God because negative media wasn't consuming his mind.

It's not too late to win this war, even if it seems that we've had a slow start in fighting back.  We know we are on the winning team, so let's show it.

The Beauty Paradox

(Wow!  Two posts in one day, you mus be shocked!!)

You probably all saw Stephanie's post, The Beauty Paradox, a bit back at Diapers and Divinity.  I kept meaning to write about it, but was just... busy with other things.

However, since this has kind of become my personal file-folder of sorts, I still wanted to link to her post for future reference.

Favorite quotes:

". . .when young women dress immodestly, “they not only can send the wrong message to young men with whom they associate, but they also perpetuate in their own minds the fallacy that a woman’s value is dependent solely upon her sensual appeal. “"

"The world’s (and Satan’s) definition of beauty tries to convince us that only by using clothing, our bodies, and our looks can we have power and gain approval.  The approval that surface beauty seeks is the approval of men.  And women.  I have often wondered why women who are active Latter-day Saints, endowed in the temple, married (and therefore more informed on how men work) still choose to dress immodestly.  I do not think they are seeking attention from other men.  I think they seek attention and approval from women who have also bought into the importance of surface beauty.  I can’t fairly make any sweeping generalizations about this, but it’s important to ask the motive-question:  why would I choose clothing that portrays “sexy”?  It’s important to note that when we seek the approval of other people, that approval is fleeting and fickle.  Trends change, and we can easily find ourselves on a treadmill of shopping, beauty procedures, and self-absorption just trying to keep up with what the world of fashion demands."

"In the end, surface beauty causes us to seek approval from mankind and to get power from the wrong source.  Deep beauty, however, earns the approval of of our Heavenly Father, plus self-approval and self-respect.  This approval is lasting and unwavering.  Our virtue gives us confidence.  If you can look in the mirror each day and look into your eyes at your deep beauty, and feel the love and power that comes from living the gospel of Jesus Christ, then you are prepared to face whatever challenges may come your way with confidence.  Surface beauty gets you noticed, but deep beauty makes you PRAISEWORTHY.  When you are virtuous, you are worthy of respect and you are an example to others.  You wear the countenance of Christ, and you can comfortably draw upon Him for power and confidence."

The Plague of Our Day

Let's be open and honest here.  We all know pornography is a huge plague of our day; we probably can all think of at least one person/family it has affected.  I've seen some great posts within the last couple days that I wanted to link to and spread the words of hope.

1.  Jocelyn at We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ wrote up a little story/lesson on how to talk to your kids about their bodies.  It brought tears to my eyes giving me even greater desire to protect and teach my darling little children the sacredness of their bodies (and their minds).

2.  Stephanie at Diapers and Divinity was pretty fired up about fighting pornography and provided some different ideas to people in different situations dealing with pornography.  She also links to lots of resources.

3.  In Stephanie's post, I wanted to point out a specific resource -- a forum for wives of pornography addicts.  It contains resources and a place for women to connect.  This is part of the initiative coming from Mormon Woman and MMB, at least partially spurred on by so many of the hopeless comments left on their sites about the devastating effects of pornography.

Pray we can protect our families from this plague, but let's also take action and do what we can to fight it!

The Perfect Body

My old friend, Polly, wrote this comical piece on body image:  Coming to Grips with the Golden Mean.

See how she found out she was a Greek Goddess, and you might be one, too!

A Comprehensive View on Modesty

NotMolly wrote this great essay on modesty -- all forms: body modesty, spiritual modesty, and temporal modesty.  Check it out; you'll probably like it.

Boys and the Priesthood

My husband sometimes says, "The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there" (L.P. Hartley).  The organization and reorganization of the priesthood in the LDS Church definitely falls into this category, and I don't think most modern members of the LDS Church realize that.  Yesterday I finished reading "The Priesthood Reorganization of 1877:  Brigham Young's Last Achievement" by William Hartley, which brought some light to questions I've had about the priesthood.

The thing that struck me the most was how the priesthood got to the young boys, as it had not always been standard procedure.  I also enjoyed thinking about women's issues of the time, and lastly learned when Church general authorities started receiving a stipend.


Priesthood to the Boys
In 1877, before Brigham died, he wanted to restructure the organization of the priesthood brethren to be more like Joseph Smith had taught  (5).  Before the restructure, things were really inconsistent:  bishoprics without counselors (7), local presiding bishops (6), stakes were not equal to one another (5), some saints weren't officially in any ward even (8).

Brigham Young wanted basically one stake per county (15), so reorganized stake sizes ranged from 1500-4500 people (16).  In reorganizing stakes, it was interesting because it doesn't sound like the prophet always picked the stake president.  In many cases, the stake president was nominated, then voted on (16).  I'm assuming this was a real vote, not just a complimentary sustaining vote, because in another case, a man was proposed to be the stake president and received many opposing votes.  The solution was to have that man be a co-president with the previous president (19).  Not something we hear of today.

Young also produced basically the first handbook of instructions that included how many men (based on the scriptures) should be in each quorum (96 elders, 48 priests, 24 teachers, 12 deacons).  Wards were to combine quorums if they didn't have enough men to fulfill the number requirements (21).

So, to the point -- here's why boys were called "into the work":  "Prior to 1877 there had been a stake deacons, a teachers, and a priests quorum, whose presidencies were sustained at each general conference.  Wards often had deacons quorums but none for the teachers and priests.  They did have groups of ward teachers, but these were not considered Aaronic Priesthood teachers quorums.  The ideal continued to be to call mature men into these quorums, but in practice such men received the Melchizedek Priesthood, and the Aaronic quorums were plagued with vacancies.  The only solution was to call boys into the work" (23). 

One stake reported having 11 year old deacons; another stake typically ordained deacons at age 14.  "The duties of priests and teachers to ward teach [with the older Melchizedek Priesthood men], and deacons to care for the meetinghouses, were not new.  But with more and better supervised quorums, the work was accomplished more effectively. And it was done by youths, giving them some priesthood training before adulthood so that, presumably, they would make better Melchizedek Priesthood bearers" (33).


Women
As I read, I of course, had women in mind and wondered what the women thought about the priesthood being now commonly given to these young men.  Hartley mentioned that it was well received by the boys/men, but didn't mention how the women felt about it (33).

One interesting thing about women that Hartley did mention was in one stake, Erastus Snow, under the direction of Brigham Young, told the stake president he needed to stop 'going "heart and hand with the gentiles"' by "selling and drinking liquor dispensed at the LDS co-op store" or he'd be replaced.  Snow told the women: "I advise you sisters to get together in the capacity of a Relief Society, and gut the store of every drop of liquor in it, and spill the liquor on the ground" (20).  Now imagine getting advice like that from a church leader!  In relation to today, I can see the same guidance in regards to pornography.  The women haven't officially been asked by Church leaders to dash pornography to pieces, but there seems to be a movement by women to do something about it.

Because of the poor overall organization, some wards lacked Sunday Schools, Mutuals, and Relief Societies.  The reorganization was good because it completed these auxiliary organizations -- the women now had their official organization under the direction of the bishop (33-34). 

Stipends
Have you ever wondered when general authorities started getting a living expense stipend?  In 1877, Brigham wanted the Twelve to have even more broad duties than they'd had in the past, which would make 'it impossible for them to "pay any attention to their own private affairs."'  At that point, they were able to receive a '"reasonable recompense for their services" from Church funds' (28).

Point: Proclamation -- Yes, men and women are still different

Ruth over at Empowering LDS Women brought up the summary of a recent study regarding differences between women and men. In the study:

Scientists at the University of Turin and the University of Manchester say they have developed a new method to analyze personality differences between the sexes, which suggests the differences are much greater than previously thought.

They studied 10,261 people — 5,137 females and 5,124 males — and found key differences.
Women scored higher in:

• sensitivity.
• warmth.
• anxiety.

Men got higher scores in:

• emotional stability.
• dominance.
• rule-consciousness.
• vigilance (wariness).

They noted significant differences in levels of aggression and life interests as well.

The researchers measured behavioural traits in a broader fashion than previous studies did. They argued that these broader definitions provide a more accurate description of personality characteristics. "We believe we made it clear that the true extent of sex differences in human personality has been consistently underestimated," they write.

I just love hearing studies that validate inherent differences in men and women because we ARE different.  Makes me say, "Point:  Proclamation!" I really believe that nurturing comes a bit more naturally to women -- particularly when the nurturing involves young children.  I also believe that men are generally better protectors, in part because of their generally larger size (however, they do need to be taught to protect, not to take advantage of).  I think both men and women are capable of being providers, but they may go about it a little differently.

Ruth brought up a very good point in her post inspired by some of the comments on the study summary.   Apparently, some commenters took the research as evidence that women are inferior to men and shouldn't be in leadership positions.  (So rude!)  Ruth concludes, "That, to me, is the essence of feminism. It isn't insisting that I am exactly the same as men--I'm not, and to be honest, I don't want to be. It is merely insisting that my differences do not make me inferior, and demanding the respect that each of us deserves as human beings. . . ."

The comments go to show what our society values: the men traits.  If we flipped things around and placed greater value, or an equal value on such things as sensitivity and warmth, comments would probably be different.