Thursday, February 6, 2014

I think I've finally figured out cleaning!

About 6 years ago we moved to a different house.  I think I've finally just figured out a cleaning routine for it!  I had the old house all figured out and timed, but that was when I had just 2 kids, and not 4 who make much bigger messes.  I always feel like I'm ALWAYS cleaning, but there are ALWAYS more messes, and I can never keep up.

I'm all for having kids help with family work, but I've had such a hard time implementing it.  I've also been kind of anti-Saturday chores because they just get in the way of other plans.  However, I've been converted, and Saturday chores are the answers to all my cleaning problems!

If you're like me, you want the house cleaned the way you want it.  You don't want a sloppy job on the mirrors and windows, you want every spot off the counter, etc., BUT, you also don't want to micromanage your kids and make them feel bad about the work they are doing and trying so hard to do right.

I also like the house clean for Sunday, which necessitates cleaning on Saturday.  But, once the weekend is over, the house is a disaster on Monday.  So, I've started cleaning the house during the week like I've always done the way I want it, then I have the kids somewhat re-do it on Saturday to their ability.  That means it's kind of getting done twice!

During the week, I get the counters and mirrors to my standards, then on Saturday, they do the best they can with them and it's good enough for Sunday.  During the week, I vacuum, but, yes, it needs to be done more than once (really every day, but that's not going to happen at this house), so I let the kids also do it Saturday.  Win-win! 

Because I'm trying to keep the basics under control like laundry, dishes*, bathrooms, kitchen floor, it doesn't leave a lot of time for baseboards and walls and light switch cover plates and chairs and kitchen table.  Bam!  Kid Saturday jobs!  Now I may have done those once a year before (I know, gross), but if the kids are wiping a couple things down each week, even if they don't do a great job, those things will surface to the top of the list again in a few weeks.

My oldest kids are getting roughly 3 jobs a Saturday, and the younger one, one or two, so they really don't complain.  If they do, I remind them that we're a team and if they want to go out and do activities, which take time, then I need their help around the house.  Now, if someone has a Saturday activity, like our 10-year old did last week, I just made up the list early and let him do his jobs on Friday.  Really, Friday jobs would be fine rather than Saturday, I'm just not quite pulled together with my list by then, though.

I asked some ladies when life starts to get easier a little over a year ago.  They said when your oldest is 9.  My oldest was about 9 by then, and I do think it started getting easier.  However, now that he's 10, it's getting even better.  For me, I don't think having the kids help this much before age 9 would have really helped me.  It probably would have made me more frustrated.

My friend recently posted this cleaning expectation chart on Facebook, that I thought was good.  Of course we all have our own variations, but it's something to start from.

There was recently a post about how one mom keeps her house clean.  Honestly, it made me feel pretty lousy because some of her monthly stuff was my yearly stuff; her weekly stuff was my monthly stuff; and some of her stuff wasn't even on my list.  I thought it was good in theory, and it reminded me of things I need to also do, but I can only do so much, and that's okay.

*I would have the kids help more with the dishes, but we have these super-sensitive cabinets that the finish is coming off of, and I know it will only be worse if I have little helpers.  Gotta figure that one out.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

The Cause of Christians

I can't believe it has been so long since I've blogged here.  Well, actually I can.  About two weeks after my last post, my husband broke his femur.  Yeah, I said femur.  He was flying a kite.  A really, really big one.  He jumped with it, went up into the air, realized he'd gone to high, did a maneuver so the kite would come down, and smashed into the ground.  End of story.  In his words, "It would have been easier if I had died."  True, yet we'd sure miss him.

Honestly, though, I don't know that had he not broken his leg if I would have blogged much anyway.  I think I've just lost steam, and kids really wear me out.

As we all know, the same-sex marriage issue is a hot topic right now, especially in Utah.  Whenever my LDS Facebook friends post pro-gay marriage stuff, it just rubs me wrong and I think, "Do they not understand the Plan of Salvation?" As it makes me uncomfortable when they post pro-gay marriage stuff, I wouldn't be surprised if it rubs them wrong when traditional marriage advocates post their stuff. Since I don't like to be terribly opinionated on open Facebook posts, I've kept my mouth shut on the matter.

Recently, though, a graphic came around promoting a pro [traditional] marriage rally at the Utah State Capitol on Tuesday, January 28 at 7 p.m.  Although I completely agree with the cause, I felt really uncomfortable showing up there, maybe being seen on the news, and having people from all over the country looking at me and calling me a bigot.  I've read comments that are so hateful to those of us who still support marriage between a man and a woman and don't believe that "right" should be extended to others.  One commenter even stated recently that religion should be banned if it promotes a society that doesn't give the same "rights" to everyone.

In a private Facebook group, we began discussing the rally, and some were questioning why people are afraid to speak up about the rally and traditional marriage in general.  Answers ranged from fear to ignoring the prophet's counsel on families, to accepting defeat.  In addition to the fear of being perceived as an overzealous bigot, I was/am definitely ready to just give up and accept the defeat. However, Diane shared five points that gave me hope and courage:

1. The idea [for the rally] is taken from France. Last year while the French government was legalizing same sex marriage, over a million French citizen's marched through the streets because while the French generally support homosexuality they understand that children need to be raised by their mother and their father. The March was moving and caught international attention. It was a beautiful thing to see so many people in a sexually liberal nation out there showing that they care about the traditional family.http://www.lifesitenews.com/.../1.4-million-march-against...

2. Utah is the leader of the other 30+ states that have adopted man/woman marriage as part of their state constitution. Utah became a target the day after the Supreme Court heard arguments [regarding] DOMA last March. An out of state lawyer came from Washington D.C. to UT and with the ACLU got gay couples to start the law suit that killed our Referendum 3 on Dec 20th. This lawyer said (because of the Mormon influence) that if he could get UT, he could get any state.

3. So far the majority of Utahns have been silent on the matter. The media has been reporting that Utahns are ready to accept gay marriage. In fact, Utahns have been so silent that Representative Anderegg from Lehi reported that he received more than 200 calls from the pro-gay marriage side telling him not to vote to fund lawyers to fight Referendum 3 and no calls asking him to fund it. Rep. Anderegg thought this was not a good representation of his constituents so he made his own calls. Of all that he called, 12 said not to fund it, 16 were undecided, and more than 200 wanted the legislature to fund lawyers to defend Referendum 3. Not all Representatives are as good as Anderegg or care about what their constituents really think. The silence on the matter may just close the case for Referendum 3.

4. A rally at the capitol during the session is the most visible way for Utahns to end the silence and show support for traditional marriage. It will be a peaceful rally with some very good speakers. Bobby Lopez was raised by a lesbian couple and he has decided to speak out for children. There will be a Utah woman who was raised by a lesbian mother who will speak in support of childrens' needs for a mother and father. We will not be shouting and cheering. We will be there to show the other 29+ states that UT cares about families.

5. In my personal opinion, I do not think it is an accident that UT's marriage amendment went first. I feel like it is God giving a large gathering of saints the opportunity to lead the rest of the nation. We have been called to support traditional marriage and children being raised by a mother and father. The final paragraph written by prophets, seers and revelators that knew what we would be facing 19 years into the future called all of us: "WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society."

Additionally, Angela said:

When it comes to defending the family, silence is precisely what Satan wants. By making people afraid to even "go there" on social media by sharing this flyer with the majority of our LDS friends (and friends of other faiths), it is a victory for the adversary. I don't see anyone sharing this because they are indeed afraid. Afraid of looking like they're stirring the pot or getting all political. It is so so much more than this though, and if we just sit back and let it pass quietly, we will regret it. I saw this happen where I live in NZ. The people were all against SSM and SSAdoption, but they were too casual and it passed. NOW they are getting fired up and it is too late. Too late because they didn't do anything. Our school systems are already changing to facilitate this, as are the adoption agencies. It is so ironic that the very people in Utah who should be the most vocal in defense of families are afraid to admit it on social media and share it. Just speaking from what I've seen.


Tonight I sat down with our son to read scriptures.  I opened up to my spot in the Book of Mormon: Alma 48.  I read the first two columns, but started getting so emotional I couldn't read anymore and just began reading to myself and writing all over the pages.  Can I just tell you that since I started blogging and getting involved in "issues" online, three times this has happened!  I open up to wherever I am in the scriptures and what I read EXACTLY applies to whatever controversy is at hand, whether it be same-sex marriage or even Mormon feminism.

Let me summarize what happens in Alma 48. Amalickiah has just deceitfully become the king of the Lamanites after having the king killed then marrying the king's wife.  In verse 3, he seeks for even more power as he wants to also rule the Nephites.  In fact, he did get some of the Nephites to follow him.  As leader of this combined group of people, he "hardened their hearts" and "blinded their minds and stirred them up to anger . . . to go to battle against the Nephites." In verse 7, we read that Amalickiah also gained "power by fraud and deceit." 

Is this not what has happened today?  That old liar, Satan, through his servants, has tricked a great number of people into believing that the traditional family unit is not the fundamental unit of society and that a father and a mother are not necessary to provide the best environment for a child to grow up in and that a person is ruled by his or her sexual desires and that anyone who doesn't agree with this is terrible and awful and a bigot.

In verse 4, Amalickiah "was determined . . . to overpower the Nephites and bring them into bondage." Is that not what is happening with the issues with same sex marriage?  The proponents of it are ready to bring the religious into bondage --- to not be able to worship how we wish.

Opposed to Amalickiah, in verse 7, we have a righteous Nephite named Moroni.  Rather than tricking and deceiving his people to do wickedly, he has prepared "the minds of the people to be faithful unto the Lord."  Do we not also have prophets today who have prepared and taught us to be faithful to God and his plan for families?  

Moroni built up forts, banks of earth, and walls of stone to protect his people.  Have we sufficiently prepared our defenses by hearkening to our leaders on our doctrine?  (See Stephanie's related post here.)  Are we faithful to what we have been taught concerning families?

In verse 10 we learn that Moroni wants to protect his people so that "they might live unto the Lord . . . and that they might maintain that which was called by their enemies the cause of Christians."  They, too were fighting for religious freedom. They, too, wanted the opportunity to live unto the Lord as do many of us.  I never noticed it before, but do you think the Lamanites said the words, "the cause of Christians," with the same disdain that some of the secular world does today as if it is some contagious disease?

In verse 14 we learn that "the Nephites were taught to defend themselves against their enemies," "never to give an offense . . . and never to raise the sword except it were against an enemy, except it were to preserve their lives."  Did you hear that?  They were to defend, never to offend, but if attacked, they could protect to the death.  I see so many people doing this right online.  They share their belief, and when questioned, state the truth.  They do not go out picking a fight on the issue of same-sex marriage (although I'm sure it happens in some circles).  

Additionally, in verse 16 we learn Moroni's people did not glory "in the shedding of blood, but in doing good . . . and keeping the commandments . . . and resisting iniquity." Verse 21 states that the people were "compelled reluctantly to contend with their brethren."  They were also "sorry to take up arms against the Lamanites."  Isn't this how we feel?  We don't want to fight!  We don't want conflict!  We want things to be good and to follow God under His laws.  We want this contention to just go away so we can carry on in "the Cause of Christ."

Do you know the reason Moroni wanted to defend "the cause of Christians?" He knew, in verse 15 and throughout the ENTIRE Book of Mormon, that if the people were faithful, "God would prosper them in the land*."  As we inhabit the same land, we know it is true today.  We all want prosperity, not destruction.

So I don't know if you'll attend the rally, do if you feel so inclined, but please don't be afraid to stand up for "the cause of Christ," whichever one it may be. Write letters, make kind comments and clarifications, love as Christ loved, let others know where you stand, bear witness of the truth, and know, as Nick said in his last post at Real Intent, that the work will not stop because "the caravan moves on."




*An interesting thing though, just for pondering, is that although we know the Nephites would be prospered in the land if they were righteous, there's a clause still in verse 15 indicating that being "prospered" might include being warned to flee or prepare for war.  So perhaps prospering in the land may not always mean inhabiting a land and being successful, but merely being protected in whatever way is sufficient for our conditions.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Three tips on not being jealous and not judging others

We've had a really neat experience over the last 5 months to see the conversion and baptism (yesterday) of our son's friend, Canon, age 10.  Although it's been awesome for the most part, we can tell it's been hard on our son because his friend has gotten SO MUCH attention.  We've tried to stress that Eli (our son) needs to try and be happy for his friend's success & accomplishment.

I remembered tonight that I've had a little list on my bed stand for MONTHS on ways to make it easier to not judge others.  It was so short that I hadn't bothered to make a post of it, yet I though the ideas were good.  My second point on the list was, as mentioned above:

Be happy for others' accomplishments.

The other two points were:

1. Get to know the person/people you are struggling with, and

2. Believe others are doing the best they can.

My dad was always a great example of being happy for others & their accomplishments, and I've always remembered that.  It can be so easy to judge or to be jealous, but if we have the mindset that others are people, too, and we should be happy for them, it makes it easier.

Good. Now I can throw away my note that's been on my dresser.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Beginning of Better Days: March 17, 1842

I know I still haven't blogged about the Sheri Dew section of The Beginning of Better Days, but I'm really excited about the March 17, 1842 section!  I was able to read a good chunk of it while waiting for my daughters at their singing class.  It filled in so many of the holes that I've wondered about with the organization of the Relief Society.  I'll just jot down some of my notes here so you can get a feel for what's in the chapter:


  • What is the 1844 definition of "provoke"?  Could it be assist?  Why would the sisters "provoke the brethren to good works in looking for the wants of the poor. . ." does it really mean help or assist? (89)
  • The sisters were to search after "objects of charity." This reminded me of the modern practices of the LDS Church to seek out the poor and needy (89).
  • They also were to correct the morals and strengthen the virtues of the female community and "save the Elders the trouble of rebuking" so they could spend their time in their public teaching (89).  I wonder what they were to rebuke?  Gossip?  Because teaching is not mentioned here for the sisters, I wondered if they were not to teach, but only the brothers?  On page 91, however, Emma is told to "expound the scriptures to all; and to teach the female part of the community. . . . "
  • The sisters were to elect a presiding officer who would choose two counselors (89-90).  This differs in the current selection of a Relief Society president as she is chosen by the bishop, not the sisters (90).  I know some priesthood positions back then were also elected, but I can't remember how common that was.  I should look that up.  Could you imagine really voting in your bishop or RS president?  Page 91 also mentions that Emma "was called an Elect lady" because she was "elected to preside. . . ."
  • Joseph said he would "ordain [the women] to preside over the Society."  Now in some commentary this has caused confusion because he's using priesthood words which would make some think that he may be giving the women the priesthood.  In the context of the chapter though, I think he uses the priesthood words merely to describe this similar female organization. This clarifies in my head the meaning of the term "organized after the pattern of the priesthood": the Relief Society was organized structurally like the organization of the priesthood with a president and two counselors.  Additionally he says, if the sisters want any officers, they should "be appointed and set apart, as Deacons, Teachers, &c. are among us" (90).
  • I also found it interesting that what the Relief Society presidency decided was "considered law."  I wonder what specific decisions were in their domain? (90)
  • The minutes would become their "Constitution and law" (90).
  • It sounds to me like the RS Presidency could be in office as long as they were in "good behavior" just "like the first Presidency." Fascinating.  I wonder what would constitute bad behavior! (90)
  • The notes state that "Mrs. Smith proceed to choose her Counsellors, that they maybe ordain'd to preside. . ."  Again, I'm thinking Joseph's using priesthood words to describe what is to happen in the RS, not that he's going to give them the priesthood; the RS is just going to be run the same way (91).
  • I love how they used the word "Presidentess" back in that day.  I think we should pick it up again, well, at least once we can consistently say it without tripping up our tongues! (91)
  • On page 92, we start hearing about the formality expected in the RS meetings.  One funny thing is that "When one has the floor [she can occupy it for] as long as she pleases."  Also, the President should be addressed as "Mrs. Chairman or President and not Mr. Chairman. . . ." There must have been some question as to whether the women should be called Mr. as an official title?
  • I also love on 92 that the sisters were "not [to] injure the character of any one. . . ." Also, "keep all your doings within your own bosoms, and hold all characters sacred." We can probably all take that advice.
  • Page 93 goes into choosing the name of the Relief Society/Benevolent Society.  I thought it was funny that they were worried "relief" could connotate "to relieve criminals from punishment. . . to relieve a murderer, which would not be a benevolent act."
  • Emma didn't like the popularity of the word benevolent because other institutions with benevolent in the name were corrupt.
  • Eliza R. Snow objected to the word Relief because "the idea associated with it is that of some great calamity" rather than "meeting the common occurrences."  Little did she know the huge part the RS would eventually play in helping people during calamities.  And of course, today, the RS is quite a steward of the "common occurrences" more than anything.
  • When Emma said "we are going to do something extraordinary" her example was "when a boat is stuck on the rapids with a multitude of Mormons on board we shall consider that a loud call for relief. . . " (95-96).
  • When Joseph gave his money to the RS that day, he said, "I shall have to concede the point, all I shall have to give to the poor, I shall give to this Society."  From that statement, it makes me think that he was basically turning the temporal care of people over to the RS, much like the Presiding Bishopric has the duty today (96).
  • As it's official name was, The Female Relief Society of Nauvoo, I wonder when "The Female" part was officially omitted? (96)
  • Lastly, Joseph declared the RS organized and stated ". . .all who shall hereafter be admitted into this Society must be free from censure and receiv'd by vote."  What exactly did censure mean back then? It's also interesting that new members had to be voted in.  I wonder how long that practice lasted (97).
I loved this section!  Like I said at the beginning, it filled in a lot of the holes about the beginning of the RS that I'd wanted to understand.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Mormon Women's Involvement with the Sacred: Reflections on Kris Wright's Lecture on Bread, Water, Oil, and Cloth

The other night I had the opportunity to hear Kris Wright, co-author of Female Ritual Healing in Mormonism with J. Stapley, speak on Bread, Water, Oil, & Cloth: Religious Objects, Mormon Women, and History at the Assembly Hall in Salt Lake.  I'd been so excited for this night to come because I enjoyed the above-mentioned paper so much, and she did not disappoint in her presentation!

You may be wondering what could be interesting about bread, water, oil, cloth, and women in the LDS Church.  Well, I will summarize and hopefully you will also be enlightened as I believe so many in the room were.  I'm going to follow the general outline of Kris's presentation and interject my own thoughts as we go.  She did move through everything pretty quickly, so forgive me if I'm mixing up my details!

Think back to the construction of the Kirtland, Nauvoo, and Salt Lake Temples.  You can surely recall stories regarding the building of those structures.  Who do you think of when you think about the construction?  Generally men?  Most likely.  You may remember a few stories of women helping, specifically the one about women making shirts for the men building the Nauvoo Temple.  You can probably also conclude that it was a sacrifice to an entire family for for a man to leave his wife and children to go build, but were the women directly involved?

Now, think back to something someone made for you, by hand.  Perhaps it was your grandmother, possibly your mother.  Maybe it was mittens (as Kris described), possibly it was an afghan (as my mother has made for my children), maybe it was a quilt someone made you for your wedding.  How do you feel when you think of these items?  You probably feel sentimental and connected and bound to whomever made them.

Well, as Kris described, women in earlier days of the Church were intimately involved in the creation of edible and tactile items for religious worship, which uniquely bound them to their faith, just as receiving a hand-made gift binds you to the giver and making something for someone binds you to the receiver.

Bread - Kris shared the example of one woman who baked the sacrament bread, cut off the crusts, and sliced it a certain way so that the priests could tear the pieces very uniformly.  This woman also delivered her bread on a special dish.  Another woman prepared the sacrament table, polished the trays, and made the tablecloths.  Another woman cared for the sacrament table for 25 years by making the tablecloths, the bread, and preparing the table each week.  In one ward, the women embroidered the ward name in one of the tablecloths and a scripture on the other.  All this service, these domestic duties, became ritual and bound these women to their religion.

Water - In one ward, the young women filled the sacrament water cups and placed the bread in trays. After the sacrament, they washed the cups.  In the 1940s when disposable cups became available, the girls' involvement decreased, and by the 1950s preparation and cleanup became the young men's responsibility.  A question I had after this story was why couldn't the men do the preparation and the cleanup in the first place?  Who said males couldn't wash the dishes?  I'm hopeful that having the girls wash the cups was not meant to be a put down, but a way they could participate.

Oil - Women started using consecrated oil in 1834.  It is recorded as being used by women in places such as Kirtland, Nauvoo, and Winter Quarters.  They used it both ritually and therapeutically.  It was essential in caring for the sick and blessing with it was a responsibility of the Relief Society.  A 1905 Relief Society banner stated:

Bless the Sick
Soothe the Sad
Succor the Distressed
Visit the Widowed and Fatherless

I would guess that at that time to "bless the sick" meant to actually bless them with consecrated oil and prayer, not the modern "bless" as in a kind word or good fortune.

Kris mentioned that women were thought of as the gateway for birth and death.  I thought that was beautiful.  It's obvious that women are physically the gateway into life, but they also played a greater role in the past at times of death (now most everyone is far removed at times of death!).  Not only being physically there, but to provide blessings.  In 1880 it was recorded that women gave blessings at birth.  Midwives also anointed newborn babies.  Not only did women bless with consecrated oil, but sometimes the oil was ingested by the person being treated, or the oil was put on the whole body.

Cloth - Women had a huge part in the production of textiles in the early days of the church.  What are some of the sacred fabric items that we see now?  How about garments, temple clothing, altar cloths, sacrament tablecloths (as mentioned), and the veil of the temple?  Now days, we go out and buy those things, but in years past, the women had the duty to make them.  It was a great time commitment, and surely a labor of love that kept women thinking about WHY they were putting forth such great effort.

In Kirtland women made the veil of the temple.  In Nauvoo, as mentioned above, women made shirts for the temple builders; they also made the veils of the temple and the carpets.  Emma Smith, Eliza Snow, and Elizabeth Warren Allred under the direction of Joseph Smith designed the first garments. Years later, swimsuit designer RoseMarie Reid redesigned them, who by chance (or not), was a descendant of Elizabeth Warren Allred!

In earlier days, Relief Society women gathered together to sew temple clothing.  Eventually they were asked not to sew temple clothing during Relief Society where it could be exposed to those who had not been to the temple.

During the construction of the Logan Temple, records were kept of all the donated labor hours.  The data includes the sewing and cleaning done by women.  The seamstresses involved were professionals, just as the men working on the outside were skilled laborers.

Earlier in the lecture, Kris broke down the word textile.  Yes, we think fabric, but the first four letters are T-E-X-T, which means that which is woven, such as fabric or embroidery.  Just as text contains words and memories, so do these domestic items that women created; they tell a story, too.

At the end there was a question and answer period that I thoroughly enjoyed.

Question 1
As everyone recognized that women's roles with physical religious objects has somewhat diminished over the years, the first query concerned how can we create this connection to religion through objects like the women had in years past.  Kris suggested offering to bake sacrament bread, cleaning ward buildings (sure, not glamorous, but still an opportunity to serve and connect), creating artwork for the walls of the church (if permissible), making tissue box covers (some women do find joy and connection in this!), and just watching for other tangible ways to connect.

I was recently asked to make the sacrament meeting programs.  Today as I sat in Relief Society folding them and putting in an insert, I thought about this being a way to connect to my religion.  Sure enough, even making the programs, knowing what's going on in the ward, helping others know what's going on in the ward, does help me connect to my religion.

Question 2
The second question was my favorite.  A younger woman, you could tell she was extremely touched by the lecture, shared that women today are trying to get away from the mundane, especially the repetitious traditional women's work, such as cleaning and cooking.  Kris had brought up Elaine Dalton's story about vacuuming the Conference Center earlier in the lecture, and the woman asking the question shared that at the time the story was given she did not like it because again it was an example of women being "reduced" to domestic work.  Yet, because of the lecture, she could see that there is sanctity in the mundane.  So much like the first question, how do we appreciate and reconnect with the simple sacred?  Kris suggested becoming a temple worker and carefully observing what goes on there, including the blessings of the temple.

The thing that popped into my head here is serving in our homes!  We have so many opportunities day in and day out to serve our spouse and children by taking care of (and teaching) domestic responsibility like cooking and cleaning. These jobs can keep our minds set on our families and our eternal purpose and goals as a family unit.  If we can't bake bread for the sacrament, we can bake it for our families whom we love; if we can't crochet coverings for the altars of the temple or make the carpets, we can create other heirlooms with our hands for our children.  Sewing is becoming such a lost art, yet as it is a labor of love, it connects us to whatever we've sewn as well as to whomever the item is for.

Question 3
The third question concerned how we've gone from a producing to a consuming society, and since much of what was produced by women is now purchased (and their necessary contributions were eliminated), women do not feel the same religious identity.  Kris suggested here being a producer in the home.  I realized that as home production is disappearing (see above paragraph), and even homemaking and child raising are going away in US culture.  Fewer people have children and sometimes when they do other people raise them.  When women do not have these emotional connections to their own children and their own homes because they outsource the work, my guess is there will be a lack of connection to those things (or people) that should be valued most.  Those important things and people will go by the wayside and connections and value will be lost.

I am going to suggest that there is some of this loss of connection and feeling going on in the ordain [LDS] women movement. Some women, because they're not directly connected to certain rituals and ordinances, even as they were historically, feel they want more out of our religion by obtaining the priesthood so they can more fully participate.  I will argue that even though women are not doing the same things, we can still have the same feelings and connections as men, but through different channels as has been discussed.

When I got home and told my husband about the lecture, my husband summarized it brilliantly:  So, women worked hard and sacrificed to sew and cook items for religious worship, and then "they" came along and said we're going to make your life easier by buying bread and disposable cups and purchasing garments and other linens, but now women complain they want more work again? Interesting thought.  Maybe we should try our hands at making our own garments and baking the sacrament bread.  Maybe then we would feel more connection to our religion through that labor.  Or, we could just find ritual, religious connection through other things we've been asked to do.

Question 4
Someone brought up creating connections through raising our children.  She remembered looking at her own working hands and seeing the hands of her mother -- this created a connection to her mother through her work.  This person stated that when we look for fulfillment outside our homes, we miss the special, spiritual experiences we can have inside the home.  We also need to create our own family rituals because they will create meaning in our lives.

Question 5 & 7
Question 5 concerned women giving blessings historically and how it was phased out.  I'm not even going to get into that here, but if you're really interested, just go read the paper mentioned at the top of this post.  Question 7 was similar as the asker wondered why we don't do these rituals anymore. Again, I think this is addressed in the original paper.

Question 6
Someone asked if female rituals of the past (blessings, textile contributions to the temples, sacrament offerings, etc.) were more valued within Mormonism than women's contributions outside of Mormonism.  Kris answered that some of these things were uniquely LDS, and yes, highly valued.

I was so glad I was able to attend Kris's lecture.  I felt empowered recognizing that even though in some ways I don't participate in religious rituals as regularly or directly as women in the early days of the church, I still can find modern ways to connect to my religion.  If you are interested in watching this lecture and getting more than my notes and personal interpretation, it was recorded for publication at a later date.  If I find out when or where that is, I will update it here.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Mom School

This summer I wanted the kids to focus on some things that I wanted them to learn.  School is good and all, but I wanted a little more say for the summer.  So, I came up with "Mom School."  Mom School this summer included swimming lessons, music, drama, dance, school review, and culture.

Our son needed to review elapsed time and work on his spelling and handwriting.  I also had him do a bit of typing and math drill reviews.  He took hip-hop with a friend, swimming, piano, and did a drama camp.

Our daughter needed to work on reading, but also took jazz, swimming, did KinderBach at home, and drama camp.

We kept busy and I was really glad to not have to compete with regular school!

For culture, I thought I'd choose a country a week to study.  I ended up choosing a specific country/week by the type of food we were in the mood for.  We ended up only doing about 1/2 our countries, but it was a good effort.  We covered China, Thailand, England, Sweden, India, and Mexico.  Sometimes I'd make the food, sometimes we'd go out.  I almost purchased the Confessions of a Homeschooler's curriculum, but instead made a really simple worksheet for the kids to complete to learn more about the country.  Then we'd talk about it.  They didn't always do all the worksheet, but it gave us a little focus.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Where's a Mom to Get a Vacation???



You thought the title of this post was a rhetorical question, didn't you?  But, I really have an answer:  ASPEN GROVE.

Aspen Grove is a family camp run by BYU and is located up Provo Canyon in Utah.  I hadn't heard about it until 6? years ago when my cousins went; although, it is 50 years old.  It really piqued my interest when I learned they watch your children when you stay there, which means mom really CAN have a vacation!

They have all sorts of activities: badminton, basketball, miniature golf, ping pong, pool, swimming, rock climbing, ropes course, arts and crafts, watercolor, wood pen turning, lectures, family dance, family games, etc.  You can choose to participate in them or not.  You can also choose to send your kids to their babysitting/classes or not.  My husband described the experience as 50% marriage retreat, 50% family vacation.  It's the best of both worlds:  quality family time together, but couple time, too.

For those of us who haven't ever really had our little kids go to any type of day care before, Aspen is brilliant in getting them to go.  The first day, the kids merely meet their leaders.  The second day they go for 2 hours.  The third day, about 3.  The fourth day, 5 or 6; The fifth day 7!!!  Then it decreases from there until you go home.

They're also brilliant in their food services.  First off they do all the cooking and cleaning for you!  When you go to the dining hall, they usually have three buffet food lines set up to meet the crowds.  As the numbers decline they close and clean up a food line, eventually leaving just one line for the stragglers and those who want seconds.  The food is also quite good and nearly always includes fruit and vegetable options.

When we went, Aspen Grove was about half-capacity in guests because school had started so many places, so it felt like we had a lot of the place to ourselves.  The staff and guests were all superb.  We loved becoming acquainted with everyone.  We definitely want to go back.  Being a week long event, though, makes it kind of hard if you want to do any other sort of vacation during your summer break especially if you're scheduling around dad's vacation time!

 Eating at the dining hall.

 
Archery 

Treadwall - indoor climbing 

Climbing/Ropes Course

Paintball 

Badminton

Hiking - Stewart Falls

 Hiking - First and Second Falls/Timpanogos

Climbing

Swimming

Family Dance


 Aspen Grove's Board Cabin

While there, we stayed at the "Board Cabin."  Before we went, I Googled for pictures of the inside so I would have a better idea of what to expect.  I was unable to find any, so we took some while we were there, that might be useful to someone, sometime.

The beautiful walk to the Board Cabin

Living room with hide-a-bed.  Adjoining door to other side of Board Cabin on right.  Rent both sides!  However, the walls are very thin!  I felt bad for our neighbors as our baby woke up and cried at least once a night.

Loft up above.  To the right is the door to the bathroom.  You can shut it to keep out noise between the bathroom and the living room.  Additionally there's another door between the bathroom and the bedroom, so you can shut that off, too.  Notice the mini-fridge on the left.


 Four twin beds, three mats.  You could put 7 kids up here!  So in all, you could have 2 in the queen bed, plus a crib, plus 2 in the hide-a-bed, plus the 7 upstairs.  That's 11 people in just one side of the Board Cabin!  If you rent both sides, I suppose you could sleep 22 people in there!  I'm not sure if they'd let you, though!

The master bedroom has it's own exterior door, so if people are sleeping in the living room, you can sneak out the back without disturbing them.

Queen size bed, closet, mini-crib provided for baby, if needed.

Baby got a cold and was an even worse sleeper, so we pulled the queen mattress out of the bedroom and and put it on top of the hide-a-bed in the living room and slept there.  Who wants to sleep on a hide-a-bed, anyway?


There are three towel racks.  You can hang 7 towels!  Stand up shower only.

Ample hooks.

They could use a shelf in the bathroom.  Or just bring some sort of hanging bag you can hang on the towel rack.