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Tuesday, December 14, 2010
What do I know?
I was visiting a friend today whom I totally admire. She's 13 or so years older than me and has kids from the ages of 4 to about 20, including 2 sets of twins. We chatted a little about some of the topics I've written about on this blog and she, in her wisdom, said that when she was a younger mom there were things she felt totally sure about, but now, as the kids are older and life situations have changed, she's not so sure and she just keeps her mouth shut.
My mom has said something similar. She said she's looked at this blog and has some thoughts, but there's just so much to say; how do you put it all in words?
I also think about Cokie Roberts in We Are Our Mother's Daughters how she said that the issues the feminists are fighting for today are still the same issues as when she was young -- everything's just recycled.
It's interesting that we younger generations are trying to figure out the same things our mothers and grandmothers all tried to figure out. Maybe we should just listen a little more since they've probably figured it out already.
A wise old owl sat in an oak,
The more he heard the less he spoke,
The less he spoke the more he heard,
Why aren't we more like that wise old bird?
Yeah.
My mom has said something similar. She said she's looked at this blog and has some thoughts, but there's just so much to say; how do you put it all in words?
I also think about Cokie Roberts in We Are Our Mother's Daughters how she said that the issues the feminists are fighting for today are still the same issues as when she was young -- everything's just recycled.
It's interesting that we younger generations are trying to figure out the same things our mothers and grandmothers all tried to figure out. Maybe we should just listen a little more since they've probably figured it out already.
A wise old owl sat in an oak,
The more he heard the less he spoke,
The less he spoke the more he heard,
Why aren't we more like that wise old bird?
Yeah.
The Family -- Not a lot has changed
Last night I read, "Families Can Be Eternal" by Spencer W. Kimball written 30 years ago. He was the president of the LDS church from 1973 - 1985. The talk could have been given yesterday. I was amazed that the problems facing the family then are pretty much still the same. 1980 doesn't sound that long ago, does it? Gulp.
Our obligation to the family:
". . .whenever anything so basic as the eternal family is imperiled, we have a solemn obligation to speak out, lest there be critical damage to the family institution by those who seem to be deliberately destructive of it."
". . . many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us."
". . . There are those who would define the family in such a nontraditional way that they would define it out of existence. The more governments try in vain to take the place of the family, the less effective governments will be in performing the traditional and basic roles for which governments are formed in the first place.
". . . We are free to resist those moves which downplay the significance of the family and which play up the significance of selfish individualism."
". . .We genuinely welcome help, real help, from churches, schools, colleges, and universities, from thoughtful men and women of every race, creed, and culture who care about the family."
A Return to Modesty Point
President Kimball pointed out that "so many of the difficulties which beset the family today stem from the breaking of the seventh commandment (see Ex. 20:14). Total chastity before marriage and total fidelity after are still the standard from which there can be no deviation without sin, misery, and unhappiness." After reading Wendy Shalit's A Return to Modesty, where she suggests that if we all respected modesty, women would be safer; we can add that not only will women be safer when we are modest (which goes hand in hand with chastity, etc.), but so will families.
"Rising generations who have been taught that authority and loving discipline are wrong will not keep the fifth commandment, honoring their fathers and mothers (see Ex. 20:12). How can the rising generations honor their parents if their parents have dishonored themselves—especially by breaking the seventh commandment?"
The Feminine Minority Point
Patricia Regar, author of The Feminine Minority, suggested that one reason Margaret Sanger (founder of Planned Parenthood) wanted to restrict birthrates among the poor was so that they'd stop populating the world with more poor people (page 57). President Kimball had different point for a similar scenario: "Delinquent adults still tend to produce delinquent children, and that awful reality will not change simply by our lowering standards as to what constitutes delinquency—either in adults, youth, or children." I would think President Kimball's solution to the problem would be to care for and educate "delinquents" rather than eliminate them.
When times get rough:
"Permissiveness will not pull us through such crises."
". . . parliaments, congresses, and assemblies—cannot rescue us if our basic institution, the family, is not intact. Peace treaties cannot save us when there is hostility instead of love in the home. Unemployment programs cannot rescue us when many are no longer taught how to work or do not have the opportunity to work or the inclination, in some cases, to do so. Law enforcement cannot safeguard us if too many people are unwilling to discipline themselves or be disciplined."
I really like that part about how "unemployment programs cannot rescue us when many are no longer taught how to work." I thought that was interesting in light of today's economic crisis -- you could add integrity in one's work to the mix.
Our obligation to the family:
". . .whenever anything so basic as the eternal family is imperiled, we have a solemn obligation to speak out, lest there be critical damage to the family institution by those who seem to be deliberately destructive of it."
". . . many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us."
". . . There are those who would define the family in such a nontraditional way that they would define it out of existence. The more governments try in vain to take the place of the family, the less effective governments will be in performing the traditional and basic roles for which governments are formed in the first place.
". . . We are free to resist those moves which downplay the significance of the family and which play up the significance of selfish individualism."
". . .We genuinely welcome help, real help, from churches, schools, colleges, and universities, from thoughtful men and women of every race, creed, and culture who care about the family."
A Return to Modesty Point
President Kimball pointed out that "so many of the difficulties which beset the family today stem from the breaking of the seventh commandment (see Ex. 20:14). Total chastity before marriage and total fidelity after are still the standard from which there can be no deviation without sin, misery, and unhappiness." After reading Wendy Shalit's A Return to Modesty, where she suggests that if we all respected modesty, women would be safer; we can add that not only will women be safer when we are modest (which goes hand in hand with chastity, etc.), but so will families.
"Rising generations who have been taught that authority and loving discipline are wrong will not keep the fifth commandment, honoring their fathers and mothers (see Ex. 20:12). How can the rising generations honor their parents if their parents have dishonored themselves—especially by breaking the seventh commandment?"
The Feminine Minority Point
Patricia Regar, author of The Feminine Minority, suggested that one reason Margaret Sanger (founder of Planned Parenthood) wanted to restrict birthrates among the poor was so that they'd stop populating the world with more poor people (page 57). President Kimball had different point for a similar scenario: "Delinquent adults still tend to produce delinquent children, and that awful reality will not change simply by our lowering standards as to what constitutes delinquency—either in adults, youth, or children." I would think President Kimball's solution to the problem would be to care for and educate "delinquents" rather than eliminate them.
When times get rough:
"Permissiveness will not pull us through such crises."
". . . parliaments, congresses, and assemblies—cannot rescue us if our basic institution, the family, is not intact. Peace treaties cannot save us when there is hostility instead of love in the home. Unemployment programs cannot rescue us when many are no longer taught how to work or do not have the opportunity to work or the inclination, in some cases, to do so. Law enforcement cannot safeguard us if too many people are unwilling to discipline themselves or be disciplined."
I really like that part about how "unemployment programs cannot rescue us when many are no longer taught how to work." I thought that was interesting in light of today's economic crisis -- you could add integrity in one's work to the mix.
Monday, December 13, 2010
My Time to Teach
I was listening to a "Conversation" with Claudio and Margarethe Costa. The Costas were talking about being happy. Sister Costa said when you're a mother of young children, sometimes it's hard to be happy because there are so many things you can't do, but when you realize it's not your time to learn, it's your time to teach, it makes it much easier. She was specifically referring to how frustrating it gets at church. She also mentioned that there will be times later to do things you want to get done such as clean the closet.
My thoughts:
My thoughts:
- Although I'd love to be listening better and participating more at church, I hope my spiritual stores are filled so that I can be aware and direct my kids in the things they need to know. It's their turn to learn the Gospel; I've already learned it (or at least should have!) -- not that I should neglect my personal growth. . . .
- I suppose if if I make cleaning a part of teaching (which I think it should be, but it's hard), that will make it less frustrating.
- Learning I do should not selfishly get in the way of the family, but should be of benefit to them.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
The Women of God Quotables
These quotes are from "The Women of God" by Neal A. Maxwell.
Teamwork and roles:
In the work of the Kingdom, men and women are not without each other, but do not envy each other, lest by reversals and renunciations of role we make a wasteland of both womanhood and manhood.
On children:
The divine maternal instincts of an Egyptian woman retrieved Moses from the bullrushes, thereby shaping history and demonstrating how a baby is a blessing—not a burden.
God trusts women so much that He lets them bear and care for His spirit children.
On serving:
. . . [women] are too busy serving to sit statusfully about, waiting to be offended.
On self:
Women, more quickly than others, will understand the possible dangers when the word self is militantly placed before other words like fulfillment. You rock a sobbing child without wondering if today’s world is passing you by, because you know you hold tomorrow tightly in your arms. . . .
I thank the Father that His Only Begotten Son did not say in defiant protest at Calvary, “My body is my own!” I stand in admiration of women today who resist the fashion of abortion, by refusing to make the sacred womb a tomb!
Teamwork and roles:
In the work of the Kingdom, men and women are not without each other, but do not envy each other, lest by reversals and renunciations of role we make a wasteland of both womanhood and manhood.
No wonder the men of God support and sustain you sisters in your unique roles, for the act of deserting home in order to shape society is like thoughtlessly removing crucial fingers from an imperiled dike in order to teach people to swim.
On children:
The divine maternal instincts of an Egyptian woman retrieved Moses from the bullrushes, thereby shaping history and demonstrating how a baby is a blessing—not a burden.
God trusts women so much that He lets them bear and care for His spirit children.
On serving:
. . . [women] are too busy serving to sit statusfully about, waiting to be offended.
On self:
Women, more quickly than others, will understand the possible dangers when the word self is militantly placed before other words like fulfillment. You rock a sobbing child without wondering if today’s world is passing you by, because you know you hold tomorrow tightly in your arms. . . .
I thank the Father that His Only Begotten Son did not say in defiant protest at Calvary, “My body is my own!” I stand in admiration of women today who resist the fashion of abortion, by refusing to make the sacred womb a tomb!
On being single:
We have special admiration for the unsung but unsullied single women among whom are some of the noblest daughters of God. These sisters know that God loves them, individually and distinctly. They make wise career choices even though they cannot now have the most choice career. Though in their second estate they do not have their first desire, they still overcome the world. These sisters who cannot now enrich the institution of their own marriage so often enrich other institutions in society. They do not withhold their blessings simply because some blessings are now withheld from them. Their trust in God is like that of the wives who are childless, but not by choice, but who in the justice of God will receive special blessings one day.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Unmarried with Kids Trend Reported on NPR
LAF/Beautiful Womanhood linked to Unmarried with Kids: A Shift in the Working Class, a report on NPR. I found the article on NPR and the comments on LAF/Beautiful Womanhood very interesting. One quote by "Andrew Cherlin a sociologist and author of The Marriage Go-Round:
What I think is happening is that a lot of young adults these days think that having a kid is absolutely necessary and something you don't put off until someday in the future when you might be able to marry.I suppose the trend in the past was to wait and wait and wait until your career was established and you were married, then when you tried to have kids, it was hard. Sounds like now you just have kids whether you have a career (or any job) or a husband -- just so you don't miss the opportunity.
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