A few stats from the Mint.com blog

My husband pointed out these stats from Mint.com regarding social change:


50% of people 65 and over believe "The main purpose of marriage is mutual happiness and fulfillment rather than child-raising."  However, only 70% of Baby Boomers and Millenials agree.


66% of Baby Boomers agree that "Divorce is preferable to staying in an unhappy marriage," however, only 54% of Millenials and Generation Xers agree.

To me, it sounds like people get married for personal satisfaction, rather than to have children; whereas, younger people are more likely to tough out a more difficult marriage (I'd assume at least if there are children in the family, anyway).  Maybe the younger people had parents who divorced and learned that's not something they want to do.

We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice In Christ: Doing My Dream Job

We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice In Christ: Doing My Dream Job

I just read this fantastic story of a woman, Jocelyn Christensen, who gave up a great career because she wanted to be a mom. Very cool.

My question is, what things during her life influenced her to want to be a mom?

Maybe I should watch t.v. a little more often

My neck has been kind of stiff now for, uh, a couple years.  I've had a few headaches more than normal and occasional neck pain that gets in the way of driving and lifting children, but it eventually goes away, mostly.  I've just lived with it.  Hey, I've lived with back pain before, why not neck pain now?  If it's not one thing, it's something else, right?

For my birthday this year, I thought I'd get a really good full-body massage.  The massage lady ended up focusing on my shoulders, neck, a little of my back, and didn't get anywhere else. My neck was totally locked up.  I didn't tell her for how long it's been that way.  We set up another appointment for a few days later.  Again, most of the work was on the neck and shoulders.

I asked her why the problems in my neck.  She figured it was perhaps some sleep posture, the physical demands of being a mother, and probably just being busy (stress).  She said the occasional headaches are a warning sign and I should do more stretching of warm muscles.

I told her when I've driven lately I've tried to focus on relaxing my neck.  I can always feel I'm tense there and I have to conscientiously try and relax.  I then realized that I almost never take time to relax.  I don't usually do passive activities.  I rarely sit back to enjoy a book and nearly never watch t.v.  If we watch anything, it's a documentary on pbs.org and, of course, I have to be multi-tasking:  hemming pants, hand stitching a neckline, cutting out a pattern.

For many years, my husband and I have tried to be very productive.  We try and be "faucets," not "drains."  We try and not waste time.  We make the most of it.

However, productivity has it's drawbacks.  I realize that sometimes, our minds are willing, but our bodies are not.  I'm reminded of how precious and fragile my body is, and there's no need to run faster than I have strength (D&C 10:4).  A worn out mother is pretty useless.  Sounds like I need to kick back, relax, quiet those muscles, and watch some t.v.

Beautiful Thoughts on Being a Woman

After Bridget posted regarding the Christian Feminist Essay, I went and read a little more on C. Jane's blog.  She describes womanhood just beautifully a few different times:

But as it pertains to my womanhood, my essence as well as in my body, I feel deeply inside of me that there is something so beautiful, eternal and holy about being a female that equality becomes inexplicable. And for his part, my husband feels it too--he directs the force I feel, supporting me in this path of female holiness. I think it's given to every female and receiving male, though hard to express intellectually, with a restricted vocabulary, it undeniably exists. When treated with firm respect by the woman herself and a man full of unrestricted charity, it becomes a powerful source of revelation and transcendence--a place where the importance of gender leads to the paradise of being One.

It something like this: in a Christ-covenanted marriage, a man becomes immortal when he is with a woman, because in her is the key to eternal life. And perhaps what we think is a typical patriarchal, male-led church is the greatest cover up for the most truthful, matriarchal system the world has ever known.  (12/2/10)

 And:

Our bodies are built to be strong in principal and natural femininity. Femininity looks different on every woman-- it is the essence that sets us apart from each other, and from man. Femininity isn't about dresses, make-up or shoes, it is about fulfilling our specific female identity. Only we know what that is, but it is encoded in our bodies. It looks good on us. And sadly, the sacredness of our bodies are the most exploited entity on this planet.

But we can change that too.

Women will seek out what feels inherently best to them--the simple life, the complicated life, the busy life, the communal life. I am learning to trust this as we all share the same birthright of being female. If women want labels, so be it. As for me, Daughter of God is all-encompassing. It is as practical as buying cleaning solvent from the door-to-door salesman, to leaving an unhealthy marriage. I know the women who came before me made sacrifices, fought battles and picked hard choices. I know they were led by the same inner voice I hear today, the voice of a loving God who champions his daughters, gives them hope in all things if they seek it, and looks after them even in the darkest of places. It is impossible to comprehend just how powerful he made us. Sometimes I get a glimpse, and it sends me reeling for days. (3/25/10)

Christian Feminist Essay

CJane hosted a very interesting essay by a Christian feminist and her views on the need for true equality between men and women. She makes the point that while many can say that feminism and gender issues are not needed anymore, for millions around the world issues like violence against women and unequal treatment are sadly still very, very real. Check it out at:

http://blog.cjanerun.com/2011/03/hannah-mudges-faith-and-feminism-my.html

I really liked a few things that she said. She said that Galatians 3:28 was really important to her in proving the need for equality and it says, "there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." I love the idea of us all being one in purpose.

I also loved the quote she used from poet Nancy Smith, "For every woman who takes a step toward her own liberation, there is a man who finds the way to freedom has been made a little easier."

A Quiet Heart

I just read A Quiet Heart by Patricia Holland.  It was such a lovely (and even short) book!  I was honestly left with a quiet heart each time I read it.  I can tell that she has thought so much about being a woman and a mother.  I just wanted to share some of the gems.

On women (page 2):

One especially troubling complaint of our time is there is no commonality among women.  Across cultures and countries and even in our own neighborhoods, we women have become so diverse and so separated in our lifestyles, interests, and preoccupations that rarely do we have a friend such as our mothers had over the back fence, a neighbor to visit, to love, and to talk with. . . .   We must not let the modern world isolate, fragment, or distance us from those we can love and serve.

(pages 40-41)
. . . because of the increasing diversity of lifestyles for women of today, we seem even more uncertain and less secure with each other.  We are getting not closer but further away from that sense of community and sisterhood that has sustained us and given us unique strengths for generations.  There seems to be an increase in our competitiveness and a decrease in our generosity with one another. . . .  [continuing on page 42] So as long as we are committed to living righteously and with faithful devotion, we should celebrate these divine differences, knowing they are a gift from God.  We must not feel so frightened; we must not be so threatened and insecure; we must not need to find exact replicas of ourselves in order to feel validated as women of worth."

On mothering (pages 58-59): 

Some women give birth and raise children but never "mother" them.  Others, whom I love with all my heart, "mother" all their lives but have never given birth.  Therefore, we must understand that however we accomplish it, parenthood is the highest of callings, the holiest of assignments.

(page 54):
. . . it is our sacred obligation to identify [our eternal nature] and to teach it to our young sisters and daughters. [Then on page 59] . . . we can provide some of that divine pattern, that maternal prototype, for each other and for those who come after us.  Whatever our circumstance, we can reach out, touch, hold, lift, nurture -- but we cannot do it in isolation.  We need a community of sisters stilling the soul and binding the wounds of fragmentation.

(page 81):
Being there and loving [children] is our specific assignment in those years when a mother is needed most, though it seems to me a mother is always needed.  These are not grandma's years, or a day care's years, or years with any other caretakers, no matter how competent they may be.  I believe with all of my heart that during those years our most important task is simply to be there!

On prayer (page 7):

 . . . if it is a high priority and a fundamental goal in your life, you will find ways, early or late, to be with God.  If the key to your car or your mortgage payment check or a child were lost, would you take time to find them?  Wouldn't finding them provide that peace you needed to then go about your day?  . . . .

If you believed that your earthly father could could comfort any heartache, heal any illness, solve any problem, or just be with you through the crucibles of life, wouldn't you call to him constantly?  I am just childish enough to believe that our Father in Heaven can bless us in all those ways.  The price to be paid for this kind of communion is time and your best powers of concentration, but by that investment you may offset untold hours, days, weeks, and months of struggle or sorrow or pain (pages 7-8 ).

On my purpose (page 19):

And while one purpose may seem more pleasant or important than another, this really is not so.  All purposes are absolutely essential and important in the body of Christ.  And all purposes lead to one thing:  individual happiness.

On pain (pages 30-31):

And do not be deceived into thinking that even though there are different and seemingly unfair paths in life, that in the end we all get the same pasture.  Your pasture will compensate for your path, and my pasture will compensate for my path. . . .  Whatever blessings you have gone without will be made up to you in divine and glorious fashion.  I give you every assurance, they will be made up to you to the point where you will not be confident that God treated you fairly but embarrassed that he treated you so very generously.

On marriage and being submissive (pages 103 - 106):

At first I was a little offended with the word subjection. . . .  . . . I began a search for what the Lord had called "the hidden man [or woman] of the heart, [even] that which was not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and a quiet spirit."  For the first time in my life I saw "subjection" as a virtue, a synonym for "meekness" and "a quiet spirit."  I felt subjection -- to God and then to others, including my husband -- to be astonishingly liberating. . . .  If we choose to recognize only the negative aspects of such words as submit, subject, and obey, it is little wonder that women recoil at their mere mention.  But if we look up the word submission in any good thesaurus, we will see the synonyms patient, humble, softness, lamb-like-ness.  These words fairly shout the discipleship of Christ!

(page 109):

The older I become, the more I see that marriage is not a contest of wills but an orderly way to have a profound relationship.  It is learning how to support each other in being the highest and holiest we can become.  It is learning the true meaning and beauty and glory behind the word submission for both men and women.

Update 3/28/11:  Heather over at Women in the Scriptures referenced One Thing Needful:  Becoming Women of Greater Faith in Christ.  I read it last night and it's pretty much my favorite chapter in this book if you want to read it without buying the book!

How the Sexual Revolution Killed the Common Date

I just stumbled upon How the Sexual Revolution Killed the Common Date by Erin McBride.  I've read up a bit on this topic in non-LDS circles, but it's interesting putting the LDS twist on it.