My Most Sincere Apologies!

A long time ago I set up an e-mail for this blog. I checked it a few times and didn't have any e-mails, so I stopped going to it.  Besides that, I thought I also had forwarded it to my more-used account, but apparently it hadn't worked.  I went to check the e-mail yesterday and there were all sorts of interesting and action needed items in there.  I was so embarrassed that those e-mails had gone unseen.  I think I replied to them all, but if I missed yours, I do apologize!  The forwarding should be working now, so I should really get your message if you send one.

Women of Faith in the Latter Days, Vol. 1

I finally borrowed a copy of Women of Faith in the Latter Days edited by Turley & Chapman.  I knew it would be good, but I didn't know it would be this good!  I like it so much that I'm getting my own copy for Christmas -- and around here, that's a big thing.  We don't really buy books; there's no place to put them!  I'm not done with the book, but I need to get it back to its owner.

One of my favorite things so far in the book is learning about how women in pioneer days actually felt about polygamy.  I had several ancestors enter into the practice, and I wondered what they thought. In college I read A Mormon Mother, and if I remember right, Annie Tanner didn't like it all that much.  But, how did other Mormon women feel?

I've been writing down what women said about polygamy in Volume 1.  Rather than saving my paper notes, I'll type them here:

73:  "Tis rather trying to a womans feelings not to be acknowledged by the man she has given herself to, and desires to love with all her heart."  Martha Heywood
74:  "My husband had a long conversation with me last night counselling me to if possible to assist in the housework sufficient [Martha was expecting] to avoid the hiring of a girl during Mrs. Heywood's [the other wife] expected confinement."  Martha Heywood (I'm glad to know that even in polygamy with more women around, they still needed help with the housework!)
78: "After my husband and his wife Sarepta left me, I felt a spirit of peace. . ."  Martha Heywood
79:  "Joseph came as far as Provo [close to where Martha was living] and did not send me one single word which hurt my feelings and taught me to think that I was not much cared for."  Martha Heywood
98:  "Plural marriage destroys the oneness of course. . . .  'no one can feel the full weight of the curse till she enters into polygamy; it is a great trial of feelings, but not of faith.'  It is a great trial, no one would deny that; but she was willing because it was a duty her religion demanded.  For years, she says, she was so bound and so united to her husband that she could do nothing without him. . . ."  Mary Isabella Horne
99:  "Mary Isabella lived the law of plural marriage without complaint.  In looking back, she also later recognized the benefits of plurality, at least for her own development and independent growth. . . . 'Since his plural marriage, she could see some advantages, now she feels better; she is freer and can do herself individually things she never could have attempted before; and work out her individual character as separate from her husband."  Mary Isabella Horne
153: "'Well, after living in Plurality and getting the experience you desired how do you like it and what is your belief now?'  I will say I like it first rate. . . .  I do believe it is a principle that if not abused will purify and exalt those that enter in to it with purity and purpose and abide there in."  Lydia Knight

I really enjoyed the first hand experiences of Amanda Barnes Smith (327) at Haun's Mill.  She's the one whose little boy had his hip blown out in the massacre.  I've heard the story so many times, it was just more powerful to read it in the first person.

This was also interesting from Amanda Smith (342):  "I have borne six children since receiving the Gospel, and of these five were born without pain through the power of the priesthood. . . ."  Wow. I think I need to exercise more faith.

I also LOVED reading about Emma Smith (p. 343).  She's got to be one of the most wonderful, charitable, forgiving women EVER.  The chapter identified how Emma assisted in the translation of the first 116 pages of The Book of Mormon while she was expecting, and how her knowledge was so important in explaining things, like geography, to Joseph.  In time, she had the baby, but it was stillborn, and then she got really sick, and then the pages were lost!  I had so many questions about this experience.

If her knowledge was so important, why did she even have to be pregnant?  Why didn't God just prevent the pregnancy?  It would have made her life a lot easier. She wouldn't have been so sick and tired while she was trying to assist.  She could have possibly had more impact.  Then, after that, to lose the baby?  That seems so unfair!  Then, to know that the 116 pages of translation were LOST?  How devastating.  It must have been a labor of love for her to serve and then have it lost.  No baby, no pages, and sick?  Life is so unfair.  I also wondered, maybe her knowledge wasn't as important as her pregnancy.  But maybe it was, maybe biology reigns over knowledge.  Maybe that pregnancy was an answer to her prayers.

I'd love to know why things did turn out the way they did, and surely she grew from her loss and her trial of sickness afterward.  Emma is a woman I do want to meet someday.  I DO recommend this book!

Motherhood & Fatherhood

Oh wow.  I just read this beautiful piece by Kels at Empowering LDS Women entitled:  Motherhood is the Equivalent of the Priesthood?  I'm kind of over my concern and am settled about women's and men's roles in the Church, but this was so well thought out, I'm glad I took the time to read it.  I even got all teared up reading it because it was that good!

Kels drew a little chart making Motherhood & Fatherhood parallel, and then identified certain responsibilities of each underneath.  Mothers and fathers both create, nurture, and provide, but women are the only ones who birth.  What about the men?  What's their equivalent?  That's where the priesthood comes in -- it allows for Spiritual birth/rebirth.  Therefore, both mothers and fathers do provide a certain type of birth.

I liked this:

. . . So I began asking him these questions, and have been receiving the answer for years now. There are so many layers to the answer, but one important element is this: birth is an ordinance, an important gift that is the stewardship of God's daughters. This was confirmed to me by the fact that a woman who is sealed in the Temple, and who is living worthily, can give birth to her children in the covenant. By virtue of her covenant, her children are born within the covenant too. However when children are born outside the covenant, a Priesthood ordinance has to occur to replace it-- children are sealed to their parents in the Temple, as though they were born in the covenant. In other words, not being born in the covenant requires a Priesthood ordinance to replace it. It's that important.

Now go read the rest!

The Caffeine Experiment

I wasn't even going to write a post on this because I didn't see it as a big deal, but I've seen several other forums discussing the issue of what really is the Church's stance on caffeine after the airing of Mormon in America as well as the subsequent response from the Church clarifying its position on caffeinated beverages.

Just so you know where I'm coming from, I grew up in a non-caffeine-drinking family in Utah.  Up until 4th grade I don't really remember my friends' families drinking caffeinated beverages either, until Melissa's family.  I think I was a little surprised that they did as they were an active Mormon family also, but I must have somehow realized (maybe through a conversation with my parents?) it was okay and their choice if they wanted to drink it -- we just didn't in our family.

One day, as Melissa and I knew I'd never had a caffeinated beverage to my knowledge, we decided I should try some.  I felt okay about it as I knew it actually wouldn't banish me from the Saints.  Oh the anticipation to try a Pepsi!!  I took a sip, and it was okay.  I still preferred my root beer.

In fifth grade, after walking to the park, I had my first Dr. Pepper.  Wow, was that awesome or what.  I may have had one more Dr. Pepper some time in high school (ok, maybe more), but I really can't remember.  When I did my student teaching in Western Samoa, I did have a few Dr. Fia fia's (loosely translated:  Dr. Party) as there wasn't another drink option -- may as well enjoy it, right?

When I met the man I was to marry, I noticed he didn't tend to avoid caffeinated beverages like I did.  Although I was okay with others drinking them, I wasn't so sure how I'd feel about actually marrying someone who drank caffeine.  What kind of influence would that have on our children!!?  I'm sure we talked about it, and he seemed to not drink as much of it as he had because he saw it was important to me.

A few years later when we were at his company Christmas party, more than one person commented on his daily Dr. Pepper or his Dr. Pepper addiction.  What?!  My husband is addicted to Dr. Pepper!? Honestly, I was a little ticked and we had a talk in the car on the way home.  I told him he was probably addicted to the stuff.  He said he just liked the flavor.  I challenged him to a taste test.

We picked up some regular Dr. Pepper and some caffeine-free Dr. Pepper and went to work.  Guess what?  He liked the TASTE of the caffeine-free Dr. Pepper BETTER!  He couldn't believe it.  He stocked up on the stuff and kept it at work.  However, ironically, the cravings eventually went away and so did the caffeine-free Dr. Pepper because it just wasn't the same. After he realized how much power a bit of caffeine had over his thinking, he decided to drop caffeine altogether. He'll occasionally have a caffeinated drink now, but never frequently enough to cause addiction.

So I don't really know why I shared this story, other than it's kind of funny and now some of you know that there is another Mormon out there who (almost) never drinks caffeine.  I suppose I could add that I feel that if it's implied that Mormons don't drink caffeine, why try and find loopholes, why not try and actually not drink it?  (I guess its a little like the law of chastity.  For the Strength of Youth says to not lie down on a member of the opposite sex if you're not married to him/her, so why not try and not do it?  Why play how close can you go?)  I could also say, if you drink caffeinated beverages for the flavor, you may just be fooling yourself.  Go try a blind taste test.

And lastly, yes, I know the Word of Wisdom doesn't say a thing about caffeinated sodas or chocolate or  t.v. or the internet, or whatever else could be addictive, but I, too, probably like a lot of others am trying to live the principle taught of avoiding addictive things.  The important thing is that I'm working on the the Lord's short list appropriate for me.

The Great Welfare Plan

In my pre-mom life I worked for the Welfare Department of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in several of the divisions over the years (Production & Distribution/Bishops' Storehouse Services, LDS Employment, Humanitarian Service/s, administration). I forget that probably most people don't know that the Church reaches out to help people ALL over the world -- and not just members of our church.

I was delighted to see this great summary of what services the church offers.  Check out this link to get a better understanding:

http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/humanitarian-aid-welfare-services-breakdown-donations-costs-resources

I also loved the segment on the welfare program of the church on NBCs recent Mormon in America production.  In fact, I used to work with the guy driving the interviewer around in the golf cart!

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Sometimes The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gets criticized for being so big and so centralized.  I realized a while back that this actually is the reason we can have such a huge impact around the world, and in such short time.  It's an exciting thing to be a part of.

What touched my heart the most, was that after watching the welfare segment, my 9 year old son said, "Mom can we do that?  Can we go to Welfare Square and volunteer?  I really want to do that."  You bet we can.

Beauty & Insecurity

I've really been enjoying the food for thought about women's bodies & shame over at Women in the Scriptures.  There are also many great comments.  Basically, yes, there are times when we may not be clothed in public, like in a locker room at a pool, but why the insecurity about our bodies in those situations?  Apparently, men don't seem to be all worried about being nude -- especially in a locker room.

I began wondering how beauty is expressed in the rest of the world.  I wish I had more global experience or studied more anthropology about now!

We know that in the US/Westernized countries, there's a general ideal for beauty. I won't go into what it is, but you can figure it out -- just look at the billboards/magazines. We also

 know there's this drive among (some) women to want to look like those images. Why? Is it because it makes her feel good about herself? Is it because it attracts men? Does it provide a feeling of power? Is it a combination of some of the above?

Is this tendency to want to be the most attractive also true in other countries, particularly the non-Westernized ones? Do women still try and be beautiful? Do they do it for themselves? Do they do it to attract a mate?

In other countries, what defines beauty? Are some characteristics the same things as we see here?

In countries where there are arranged marriages, is there still this attractiveness competition between women? In countries where women are covered, is there also a competition for beauty?

In European countries where are the nude/nearly nude beaches, where people seem comfortable with their shape, is there still seeking to be the most beautiful/perfect body the rest of the time?

Mary & Martha

My friend, Hailey, shared "Mary and Martha -- Faithful Sisters, Devoted Disciples" on Facebook today from a 1987 Ensign.  There were some really good quotes:

The story of Mary and Martha, observes Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “reminds every Martha, male and female, that we should not be so occupied with what is routine and temporal that we fail to cherish the opportunities that are unique and spiritual.”

 ...are we so involved with learning or outside interests that we do not honor our domestic responsibilities? 

... the Lord has counseled all of us to be “anxiously engaged in a good cause.” (D&C 58:27.) When determining the causes we will engage in, we need to weigh our values against our priorities. This will help us better judge what is important in our lives.Elder Maxwell concludes, “Basically, if we are properly motivated and are proper managers of our time, there is a time and season for various good causes in our lives. The contributing emphasis, of course, must be upon keeping the commandments and being effective in our family life.”

 ...when we judge someone as we have perhaps judged Mary and Martha, we have forgotten that strengthening the individual and the family, serving in Church callings, and providing for temporal needs are all part of gospel living. When deciding which aspect should receive emphasis at certain seasons of life, sisters would do well to seek the Spirit as a guide.

 ...“If the decision is right, they will feel at peace. That is the key. If they have made the wrong decisions, they will tend to feel troubled.” (Ensign, Mar. 1986, p. 21.)