A while back I read Kathryn Soper's Why Standard's Night is Substandard. She suggests that when we teach intimacy to young people, we tend to focus on young men bridling their passions and young women trying not to ignite that flame in young men. She feels that we also need to discuss why some young women let their standards down: the need for acceptance, love, joy, fulfillment, and one I hadn't thought of -- power.
I can't say power has been a huge factor in my life. I tend to fall in the Wendy Shalit camp where I'd rather be known and respected for my intellect than for my body (p. 30 Girls Gone Mild). However, I think Soper had a valid point that affects a lot of girls and women.
For example, I was at the grocery store on a busy day last December. A woman was walking toward me wearing a tight, see-through, lacy, long-sleeved top with a skimpy tank top underneath. The man walking in front of me noticed her, too. I can't remember if he turned around after she passed to check out her back side, but I did notice the look of satisfaction on the the woman's face after she'd noticed she'd caught the man's attention! I tried hard not to laugh! Soper was totally right!
I believe Shalit would agree with Soper's point (p. 107, Girls Gone Mild), but she would also add more to the discussion regarding modesty in general. After I finish Girls Gone Mild, I'll share some of her quotes.
1 comment:
Back in the day when I was thin, young, (I felt I was smart and pretty)...and not active in the church -I was one of those ladies. I wouldn't dress racy but my necklines were lower and my shorts much, much shorter. I was fit and very tone and getting that second look from a man gave me such a rush of pleasure and power. I have found better ways to get that rush; being immodest is no longer one of them. I no longer need someone else to give approval to feel smart and pretty.
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