Monday, May 30, 2011

When to say yes

Deila posted an insightful letter over at MMB regarding modesty.  In the letter, she stated, "Twenty years ago, I would tell my young daughter, "Barbie can wear this, but you can't--when you get married you can wear it in the bedroom."

Do you think in LDS culture we tend to forget the last part of that statement?  I thought saying things like this might help our girls be more comfortable with their bodies?


I just noticed this comment at the bottom of the page: 

I don't think modesty is just for the men. I have strong feelings about what immodesty does to women. It perpetuates the 'women as objects/sexual appeal as power' mentality. Men aren't the only ones who have a hard time looking past the surface appearance. There is a reason eating disorders, etc. are at an all-time high.

Modesty to me is about more than just class. It is about true power -- power that comes from self-respect and respect for others, from an ability to stay away from the dangerous myths about beauty and worth, from the ability to avoid the temptation to seek unrighteous dominion through sexual power, and from living according to truth about the body and sexuality as a gift and holy stewardship.


Amanda said...

"you can wear it in the bedroom" -Excellent advice.

Heatherlady said...

I like that comment a lot. I think that too often we don't teach young women that they have a REAL power and that they need to use it wisely. It is almost a kin to misusing your priesthood if you were a man. Sister Dalton said something about this to the YW in the last general conference-- she told the YW that they had the power to affect the agency of someone else (an unborn child) and that they needed to do everything they could to protect that power and use it wisely.

Emily said...

Yeah -- I'm just trying to process how to use the statement with a 5 year old.

michelle said...

Hey...I just saw this. ;)

I'd be interested in others' thoughts on teaching your children, but for me, I believe in teaching them modesty early -- not as a way to avoid men's eyes, but as a way to respond to prophetic counsel and to respect themselves. They can learn the nuance as they grow, and I think they do that best simply by being loved and feeling confident in making good choices. I also have adopted the approach of responding openly and simply to questions my kids ask...and they were asking questions about sexuality when they were young (4, 5, 6 ish). If they see that we are not afraid to talk about it, they can grow up with a better, more healthy understanding of sexuality.

I think it's too easy to think of teaching about sex as a talk, where for me it's an ongoing thing -- and one of the ways I feel the most power as a mom.