The other day a question popped into my mind: What is the greatest gift you can give someone? I realized it was motherhood (or fatherhood, or just parenting for that matter). If you bear the child, that is huge, but that life-long loving, caring, and nurturing that comes along with it is life changing!
Weeks before I thought of the above question I was thinking about our difficult (understatement) baby and how (this is terrible) we could just give her up for adoption or into foster care, but then I realized if we did that, someone would probably beat her. Because I love her so much, I would never want that to happen, so I decided we should keep her, and she actually has it quite good. It is great that she has parents to coach her through life---what a wonderful gift we can give her, even if she is quite a nuisance.
Can I just ramble here and tell you two funny things? During her first year, I took a picture of her every month for her month-by-month frame. When it was complete, my husband looked at it and said, "That is such a misrepresentation of her! You got the one time every month when she was actually happy!" Yesterday, he took her and our son to some batting cages. Some girls came over to awe at her and later my husband said it kind of ticked him off because she was being so good, and they didn't know what she was really like. That's the baby for you.
Also yesterday while we were juggling kids and schedules, it struck me that I need to decide how I'm going to share my life with my children. I need to stop thinking about sending them away for this and that, but think about how we are a unit that influences and relies on each other.
I think I spent all my growing up years dreaming about Prince Charming and spending my life with HIM, but I spent very little time thinking about how to share my life with our future children. It's not like we have servants who rush them off once the are born. They are a part of my life, and I need to include them in the game plan just as much as I planned to have my husband in it. They're not EVER going to go away. I'm sure many of you have already figured this out, but it's a new perspective to selfish me.