The World Congress of Families

If you haven't been following any of the information coming out of The World Congress of Families, Kathryn Skaggs is posting notes about it.  I'm finding it really fascinating following what is going on.  Check it out!

This Is Water

You've probably already seen this, but I wanted to save it.

It's not about ME; it's about the choices we make every day in reaction to everything around us---about even the monotony.

Now give me the motherhood version.

Life is Just a Bowl of . . . Trials? BYU Women's Conference

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go to BYU Women's Conference for my first time.  Since becoming a mom, I've made it to Education Week for a day a few times, but this was my first time at Women's Conference.  I wasn't sure what to expect, but wanted to give it a try because I'd heard such good things about it.

A couple years ago I went to Time Out for Women, and enjoyed it, but felt like I was in a Deseret Book commercial.  As I've attended Disney on Ice since then, I'd now describe TOFW kind of like Disney on Ice for LDS Women.  So, if you like that kind of thing, great, but it was a little intense for me.  It wasn't the presenters that made me squirmish, more the overall feel of it.  I would, however, be happy to purchase the DVDs of TOFW, just maybe not attend, especially since I do live close enough to BYU to attend Education Week or Women's Conference.

I was impressed at the organization of Women's Conference; I wouldn't expect less.  I love the variety of classes offered at Education Week, so I was a little worried at the WC emphasis on women things like relationships and mothering; however, I was still filled!  I wasn't sure I'd like the schedule for the day, but ended up LOVING having opening and closing combined sessions and the three breakout sessions with the 30 or 45 minute breaks in between.  I also enjoyed that at each class I went two, two or three people spoke.  At Education Week I get so excited about so many classes, then end up going to them, and then my brain feels like it's going to explode at the end of the day.  Five total classes won't make your brain explode.  At WC I felt relaxed!  Perhaps it helped that I was crocheting a scarf from one of the WC make and take kits and wasn't concentrating as hard?

I LOVE the service emphasis of WC.  The make and take kits are brilliant as you're just sitting there listening (and sometimes taking notes).  I also LOVED the service night and all the projects!  Because I wanted to finish my scarf before leaving for the night I worked on it instead of the projects, but my friend helped with a project.

I also LOVED how friendly people were!  I could just strike up a conversation with anyone, and everyone was so helpful.  It was a little piece of heaven.  I felt like I was back at Ricks College where you said hi to everyone.  As a student, BYU was nice, but it was not as friendly as Ricks.  Plus, as an added bonus, I ran into a bunch of people I know---from a gal I worked with in 1996, to another co-worker from the Church Office Building, to a mom I swap with for volunteering at the school, to people in my ward, to two of my aunts!

I was able to stick around for the concert, which I thought would be fun.  It was, but it went a little long for my tastes, and some of the singers I didn't particularly care for.  Let's just say, I don't know what Michael McLean was smoking when he came up with Threads---A fashion show from The Twilight Zone???  It was funny, and the singer was great, but it was just a bit weird.  I also wasn't a huge fan of Justin Cash, but I would have probably liked listening to him in college.  We left during the Deseret Book boy band.  They were good, but kind of danced like they were half paralyzed.  Plus, it was after 10 and we were really tired and had an hour drive to make.  Mercy River's bedtime song made me laugh so hard that I cried.  As a mom I'd be totally embarrassed to get up there and dance like teenage rock stars like they did, but they were good, really good, and their song was SO TRUE!  I loved Sandra Turley's Les Mis mix and Josh Wright's piano playing was beautiful.  I REALLY loved Hilary Weeks new song, I Found Me (I found you, then I found me.).  I could write a whole post on that, and maybe I will some time.  So overall I'm glad I stayed for the concert, but I could have skipped a few of the artists.

OK, now back to the classes and the title of this post.  From the opening combined session by sweet Elaine Marshall, I realized that life is not perfect, it never will be, and it's okay.  We just roll with it and do our best.  I don't have this premonition that life should be perfect, but we've just struggled so much lately with some of our kids, that I wonder if it's normal, and yup, it is.

For my first breakout class, I attended "Being a Gracious Receiver" and expected it to be about accepting help when you need it; however, it was about receiving trials with grace.  There were several stories about trials, including death, yet, we just deal with it and move on, and it's okay.  Second, I went to "The World's Greatest Champion of Woman and Womanhood is Jesus the Christ."  My friend, Cheryl, presented part of this one and she and her partner spoke with such power.  After that I went to "Mothering Young Children," and realized our kids are pretty darn good.  When one mom talked about her kids making the table into a slip and slide or something, I thought, wow, my kids would never do that, and I felt really blessed. So, even though I complain about how hard this phase of life is, I'm really grateful for these wonderful little kiddos in my stewardship who really are pretty obedient and fun, even though they do have their problems and things to overcome just like the rest of us.

Mine would, however, pick all the tulips in the yard while I was gone.  (Not that it hasn't happened before.)

So, I came away feeling incredibly grateful for my own family and knowing that other people do have it worse, so I should stop whining (so much).  I felt that we're not doing too bad a job with parenting---probably better than  I imagined.  I recognized that life is full of trials for everyone, and that's okay.

In the end, would I go to BYU Women's Conference again?  Definitely---especially since my dear husband handled the day like a champion:  kids fed, to school, preschool, book club, baseball, bed, and even a clean house when I came home.  I felt like such a lucky girl.

A Mother There?

A few weeks ago I got around to reading the essay, "A Mother There: A Survey of Historical Teachings about Mother in Heaven" by Paulsen and Pulido.  I can't say I learned anything groundbreaking about Her in it, but I did learn that the authors found more than 600 sources referencing Her.  Incredible!

Growing up, whenever the topic of Heavenly Mother came up, the standard answer I remember as to why we don't talk much about Her was that Heavenly Father wants to protect Her from the same blasphemies He receives.  I guess the reasoning was if we don't know much about Her, then we can't talk about Her and curse Her, too?

Apparently though, some people say there needs to be a "sacred silence" about Her.  Even one fictional  work took it to the extent "that the Heavenly Mother was so special that God had said we must never, ever talk about her---that He held her on a pedestal where she was never to be seen or spoken to, for fear that her purity would be sullied."  I suppose my experience was somewhat similar to that, just not as extreme.  I never felt I couldn't talk about Her, I just didn't know enough about Her to say anything constructive.

I appreciated these two quotes that may not provide hard doctrine, but some thoughtful speculation:

Elder John Longden. . . added, "It must be quite an occasion in heaven when our Heavenly Mother bids us a loving farewell for the time being!  Perhaps, like earthly mothers, she thinks, 'They are so young, and they might forget [the rules and regulations].'" Longden imagined that before we parted we promised them we would remember.  President George F. Richards . . . taught that our heavenly parents are "counting on [us] to honor them, to love them, and obey them. 'Thou shalt honor they father and they mother.'" This commandment applies to both earthly and heavenly parents.

And from Harold B. Lee:

Sometimes we think the whole job is up to us, forgetful that there are loved ones beyond our sight who are thinking about us and our children. We forget that we have a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother who are even more concerned, probably, than our earthly father and mother, and that influences from beyond are constantly working to try to help us when we do all we can.

Basically the essay confirms that She's talked about, and there's nothing that says we can't talk about Her.  I'd assume, as I said before, that we just don't talk about Her because we don't know enough.

Family Wage

A few weeks ago, my husband went with some of the young men in our ward to visit a local company for a career night.  As the owner talked to the boys about the different salaries the boys could make, he told them, "This is job X, it pays around $X, that is not a family wage."  He went through a few positions like that until he started getting to the higher paying, family-supporting wage jobs.  I thought how true that is!  You really do need to be aware that doing piece-work assembly just won't support a family.

Today I got to know a friend better.  I learned that her husband is a teacher, and I was impressed that he would choose the field; I'm all for men in teaching, and wish more would do it.  Then she told us that he actually works FIVE jobs, or rather has five income-generating activities to make ends meet.  Lest you think my friend's husband pulls in all the income so she can sit around watching soaps and eating bon-bons, she also works about 20 hours a week, late at night and is the mom of five.  So between the two of them, they work six jobs.

At that, my blood began to boil.  Just because my husband does make a "family wage" does that mean he works any harder than my friend's husband?  No!  What makes some people so deserving of more income (and sometimes SO MUCH more income) than the other guy or gal who works just as hard, is just as dedicated, and has had just as much education, but is just in a different field???

Don't get me wrong.  I'm fine with people having different salaries, but how I wish we would treat teachers, specifically, like trained professionals, which they usually are.  If we did, we'd probably even get more men in the profession, which would be wonderful.

Another friend commented how her husband wanted to be a teacher, but he knew they couldn't make it on that salary, so went a different direction.  I realized probably both my brothers would enjoy some form of teaching, yet also avoided the field because it does not provide a family wage.  How many men out there would be in teaching if only they could support their families?  Since when did teaching become work for pittance?  When it was a man's profession, was the pay still terrible?  Has teaching always been so undervalued?

Personally, I chose teaching because I believed it would provide me with the flexibility I'd need to be home with my kids if I needed to be working, even if the pay was lousy.  I enjoy teaching, but I don't know if I'd enjoy being a teacher as you typically think of them---in a public school setting.  However, now I also recognize the benefits of training in what is considered more men's fields/more "professional": medical, law, etc. It is neat that those professions can provide the opportunity to work less, say than a teacher, yet generate more income, and allow a person to be flexible with his/her schedule.

However, once again, I'm terribly annoyed that I might more likely choose one of those higher-paying career paths merely for the money.  What if I really, really wanted to be a teacher, but decided to be a doctor just for the money?  It's like we're giving up our personal integrity for money, and I think it's really sad, yet it also seems necessary when you're trying to support a family.

End rant.

"Make No Place Like Home" notes

A week ago Saturday we had a super stake RS activity entitled "Make No Place Like Home."  They had sisters sharing ways to display family keepsakes/heirlooms and ways to keep the family close, the winner of the Cupcake Wars shared her story, and the Food Nanny even came.

Now, this will tell how little I watch current t.v. I had heard of the Food Nanny (I think), but really didn't know anything about her.  However, once she started talking, I was so impressed!  Go hear her if you ever have the chance!  She encouraged us to "get back in the kitchen" and cook!  We need to teach our kids to cook!  We need to spend mealtimes together!  She outlined a weekly meal planner:

Monday: comfort food
Tuesday: Italian
Wednesday: Meatless/Breakfast
Thursday: Mexican
Friday: Pizza
Saturday: Grill
Sunday: Traditional

She said plan 5 meals for the week and take 2 days off (go out or eat leftovers).

Provide a little sweet for your kids; otherwise, they'll go out and find it anyway and hoard it.

Teach portion control because it is the only thing that works.  Stop eating when you are satisfied, not full, not stuffed.

Always have at least one raw vegetable at dinner -- carrots are good.  She suggested having raw, frozen, and canned at each meal.  I'd just as well provide three raw or raw/frozen.  I try and skip the canned stuff for the most part.

Do your major shopping every two weeks with little stops for necessary items like milk and tomatoes.

Kids should at least taste the food offered at dinner.

"If you can't cook for yourself, cook for those you love."

She shared a pizza crust recipe that I haven't yet tried as well as a French Baguette recipe that I've already made three times!

French Baguettes from the Food Nanny
Combine 1/2 C warm water with 1 1/2 T yeast and 1 t sugar.  Let sit.
Combine another 1 t sugar with 2 t kosher salt and 3 c flour.  (I cut the salt down a little.)
Pour the liquid mixture in the dry one and add up to another cup of warm water.  Add up to another quarter cup of flour to make a soft dough, if necessary,to keep dough from clinging to sides of bowl.  Knead.  Break into two balls and shape into baguettes.  Cut down each loaf 1/4 the way.  Bake at 450 (or even 500) for 10-15 minutes.

Now I'm going to have to buy her book.  I'm also inspired to do more in the kitchen and plan our meals better.  To me, the RS activity was quite a success.

An Easter dinner to remember the life and times of Jesus

We've often done Easter dinner with my parents.  Because we usually go to their house, my mom ends up planning the menu.  This year, however, my parents are visiting my sister in Iowa, so Easter dinner was up to me!  Oh dear.  I love ham, and thought that would be fun, but I wanted a GOOD ham without stuff in it, but didn't want to take the time to figure out what kind of ham to get.  My next idea was to do a Passover-type meal so that we could remember Jesus and learn more about his life.  It ended up being not necessarily a traditional historic Passover meal, but one where we were able to eat some of the foods that Jesus probably ate.

I used the book, A Christ-Centered Easter, by Janet and Joe Hales for my main ideas.  I had fun telling the kids the names of the food we were going to eat and having them guess what they were:

Zeroa
Roasted shankbone of lamb

Beitzah
Roasted egg
Symbolic of roasted offerings at the Israelite temple

Maror
Bitter herbs, romaine
Symbolic of Israelites suffering under the Egyptians

Haroset
Apples, nuts, cinnamon, grape juice
Symbolic of mortar the Israelites used to build Egyptian cities

Karpas
Parsley
Dipped into salt water, symbolizes new life of freedom

Matzah
Unleavened bread
Represents the Israelites swift escape from Egypt

Sweet Potato Salad
A modern Israeli Passover dish

I also served olives, dried apricots, raisins, almonds, and butter.  I'd made yogurt for the occasion, too, but couldn't figure what people would eat it with, so I didn't put it on the table.  I also had home made grape juice, but in the end didn't want it spilled, so I didn't put it out.

Seasoned Lamb and Barley 
(from A Christ-Centered Easter)
2 T butter
1 C barley, rinsed and drained
1 T olive oil
3 cloves garlic, crushed
2 medium onions, chopped
1 lb. lamb meat, boneless, trimmed of fat, cut into bite-sized pieces
Salt to taste
Pepper to tast
1 T olive oil
6 C chicken stock, divided

Preheat oven to 350*. Brown barley in butter.  Set aside.  Saute garlic and onion in oil.  Combine barley & onion in a 2 qt casserole dish.  Set aside.  Sprinkle lamb with salt and pepper.  Brown in olive oil and place atop barley mixture.  Pour 3 C chicken stock over meat.  Cover and bake for 1 hour, or until the liquid is almost absorbed.  Add the remaining chicken stock.  Bake for 50 more minutes, or until meat is tender.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.

*I used a 1/2 lb. piece of bone-in lamb.  Rather than having cubes of meat, I just browned the whole piece and put it on top of the barley.  I also just put everything in a Crock Pot and cooked it on high for 3-4 hours.  I decreased the water to 4 C, and it turned out really great and quite flavorful.

Green Salad
I put romaine, parsley, and eggs in my salad bowl.  I put crumbled goat cheese on the side for those who wanted to try that.  For the dressing, I made a variation of the Spinach Salad dressing recipe in the Lion House Recipes cook book:

1/4 C olive oil
1/8 t garlic powder
2 T vinegar
2 T lemon juice
1/4 t salt
dash pepper
1 T Parmesan cheese

Haroset 
(from A Christ-Centered Easter)
1/2 C almonds, finely chopped or ground
1/2 large apple, finely chopped
 3 T grape juice
1/4 t cinnamon

Mix all together.  Can prepare a day before.

Matzah
My Matzah turned out like a rock, so I'm not even going to post the recipe, nor do I think I'll ever make it again. But, it gave us a good appreciation for what the pioneers went through when they had to eat flour/water cakes.  It was probably also pretty close to the hard tack the pilgrims ate.  Ew.  Modern day saltines are so much better.  Well, maybe I just made my Matzah wrong.  When I realized the Matzah was lousy, I whipped up some French baguettes that I learned to make from the Food Nanny earlier in the day.  They turned out delightful and I will definitely be making them again!

Sweet Potato Salad
I wanted to add a little more variety to our fare, so I went to an Israeli food blog that my cousin who lives in Israel had linked to and found this fun recipe.

1 large sweet potato
1 medium red onion, sliced finely
1/3 cup olive oil
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon salt
black pepper
1/2 cup chopped cilantro or parsley

Scrub, but don't peel, the sweet potato. Chop it into large dice.  Put the chopped sweet potato in a pan with salted water to cover, and bring it to a boil.  Lower the flame and cook for 7 minutes. Start testing the pieces for tenderness. They should take between 7-10 minutes to cook till tender but still firm.  Drain the pieces at once and run a little cold water over them to stop the cooking.  Put them in a bowl with the rest of the ingredients. Taste for the exact balance of salt, sour and sweetness that you like, and adjust accordingly. Use a wooden spoon to stir - gently.  Chill the salad in the fridge for an hour before serving. Simple, colorful, and satisfying.

I loved all the food (except for the Matzah as I said).  My inlaws also loved the food (even my father-in-law ate the Matzah).  My husband and the kids were slightly more picky.