Sunday, May 8, 2016

Conference Theme: Fathers

I'm slightly embarrassed to say that after listening/watching this last General Conference that I didn't notice any themes in it. I'm pretty sure that's because with four kids and an infant, I only sort of paid attention.  Over the last week, though, I've had some time to re-listen to Conference.

I recently learned that a dear, nearly life-long friend is getting divorced with the most recent reason being abuse. With that on my mind, as I listened to President Uchtdorf's and President Eyring's Priesthood Session talks, I noticed their reminders to men to step it up.
Our priesthood obligation is to put our families and the families of those around us at the center of our concern.  Every major decision should be based on the effect it will have on a family to qualify for life with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. (Eyring)
[Families] require constant, intentional work. The doctrine of eternal families must inspire us to dedicate our best efforts to saving and enriching our marriages.  (Uchtdorf)
. . . No matter how flat your relationship may be at the present, if you keep adding pebbles of kindness, compassion, listening, sacrifice, understanding, and selflessness, eventually a mighty pyramid will begin to grow. If it appears to take forever, remember: happy marriages are meant to last forever! (Uchtdorf)
The way you treat your wife or children or parents or siblings may influence generations to come. What legacy do you want to leave your posterity? One of harshness, vengeance, anger, fear, or isolation? Or one of love, humility, forgiveness, compassion, spiritual growth, and unity? . . . For the sake of your family relationships, for the sake of your soul, please be merciful, for "mercy triumphs over judgment." . . . Sincerely apologizing to your children, your wife, your family, or your friends is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Is being right more important than fostering an environment of nurturing, healing, and love? (Uchtdorf)
Then, a friend in a nearby city shared that Elder Rasband spoke to their stake recently. He basically said that Melchezidek Priesthood holders need  better protect their families and teach their children consistently so that their children will be stronger.

I also noticed when listening to Elder Christofferson's talk, "Fathers," from Conference that he also spoke on men and their duties:
In 1833, the Lord reprimanded members of the First Presidency for inadequate attention to the duty of teaching their children. To one He said specifically, "You have not taught your children light and truth, according to the commandments; and that wicked one hath power, as yet, over you, and this is the cause of your affliction. Fathers are to teach God's law and works anew to each generation.
Discipline and correction are part of teaching. As Paul said, "for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth." But in discipline a father must exercise particular care, lest there be anything even approaching abuse, which is never justified. When a father provides correction, his motivation must be love and his guide the Holy Spirit. . . .
We call on media and entertainment outlets to portray devoted and capable father who truly love their wives and intelligently guide their children, instead of the bumblers and buffoons or the "guys who cause problems," as fathers are all to frequently depicted.
Live your life so that as a man you will bring purity to your marriage and to your children.
I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that the Brethren have been discussing father's a lot lately.

I have a wonderful twelve-year old son who wants to do what's right. He wants guidance; he wants to please his parents. He likes to read and doesn't always want to be sitting around playing video games, as is the stereotype. We've noticed that most of his friends also want to do things other than video games, they just need the guidance and an adult to get them doing something that's not video games. Gaming is just so easy when there's no one there to get you to do anything else. These boys need to become good men; they need to be trained to someday protect their own families. They are up against so much; they just need guidance.

Interestingly, my husband was recently called as the Scoutmaster, and today, I was called as the Scout Committee Chair. I have in mind that we need to fill these boys with testimonies and skills that will help them on their missions and as they have families of their own. They need to become close to God through the outdoors. We've never been overly excited about Scouts, but our bishop pointed out that Scouting is the plan the Church chose to stay with even when it had the chance to leave. So, we are learning to go with it and make it what the boys need.  The Church is concerned about our boys and men and I'm willing to fight for them.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

My Advice for First-Time Parents

A pest control guy just showed up at the door. He saw me holding our 4 month old. He said his wife is 16 weeks along. Of course, I thought I'd give him some advice having this all so fresh in my mind.

1. Plan that someone will always be sick---especially when you have multiple children.

2. Plan that no one will ever get any sleep---especially when you have multiple children.

3. Give your wife a break, especially the first six weeks. She loves you, she may just not want to be romantic.

4. Do everything you can do to help your wife, especially the first several months of having a new baby. She may say, "aw, it's ok," but either just go clean the house to the very best of your ability or take the baby for a couple hours and just try and disappear.

5. Plan that you'll never do anything you want to again---especially while you have multiple, young children at home.

6. Figure out how to go on dates. I recently posted on Facebook:
"I used to have to make time to work because the rest of my time was for play; now I need to schedule time to play or I will always work."
It's the same for dates. Your relationship will suffer if you don't make time to spend together. There are always so many other things to do that together time just won't magically happen. I never understood this until I had 3 or 4 kids, now with 5 I totally get what older married couples were saying.

Now, if you follow these expectations, you'll be pleasantly surprised. Trust me. It's all about the expectations.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Faith and Works

I turn 40 tomorrow. Yikes. 40.

When my mom turned 40, two of her friends took her to lunch. One smuggled in a dead plant and put it on the table as the centerpiece. I remember 40 for my mom vividly, yet I really didn't understand why it was kind of a big deal. I mean, it wasn't a big deal to me: she was just mom.

After moving cities, then having a baby and staying much in seclusion the last four months, I've been a little worried about 40. Would anyone remember me? Would anyone even know it was my birthday? Usually birthdays aren't that big of a deal, but 40.

An older, single friend posted on Facebook how she prayed big and specifically. I decided that I guess I could do that, too. I prayed that friends would take me out to lunch; that's all I wanted for 40. I was afraid it wouldn't happen and wondered if I should drop a hint to my husband. I mentioned it, but I don't know that he'd take action on it.  I mentioned it to my mom.

Probably within a week after my prayer, my Visiting Teacher texted about meeting at a park so our daughters could play. Within an hour she texted again and said, "Your birthday is coming up! What if I bring you lunch and we can hang out at your house? Would that be easier with the baby?"  Four days later she messaged again saying two other gals wanted to come!

Not only did all these women bring lunch, they brought flowers, a card, and that crazy, amazing Costco chocolate-mousse-tuxedo-whatever-it-is-cake.

I could not believe it. Although I prayed to go to lunch, it was definitely easier to have people to my house considering the baby, the preschooler, and my two older girls are off track. I have to say, my Heavenly Father knows my needs before I do, and I thank Him for an in-tune Visiting Teacher. Wow.

That's the faith part.

Now, here's the works part. I said I mentioned it to my mom (works). After I heard initially from my Visiting Teacher, my mom asked if she should call some of my old friends and you know, put in a word. I told her, "I dunno" as I already had some new friends coming over and I really didn't want to beg for birthday wishes.

The day after we had this little conversation, I got a text from an old friend wondering about getting together for lunch for my birthday. After some planning and replanning we will be getting together with a bunch of friends, so that will be nice.

I just find it so interesting that this single situation was both answered directly in faith as well as in works. Faith, in that my prayer was directly answered without any human meddling, yet it was also answered through the works of humanly angels.

Yup, God does answer prayers and I haven't been so spoiled since I lived with my parents!

UPDATE: So I asked my husband if he had anything to do with my Visiting Teacher coming over after I wrote this last night. I can't remember exactly what he said, but it was affirmative. Now, that may spoil the faith part of my post, but just knowing that he was sensitive to my wants caused tears to come to my eyes. My husband isn't the sensitive type and like I said, I didn't expect him to do anything, so this was a BIG deal that he cared enough about my feelings to actually DO something!

I guess it's kind of like the miracle of the seagulls. When I took Utah history at BYU, I learned that the seagulls actually came every year to eat the crickets in the SL valley, so it really wasn't a miracle, was it?  BUT, the Mormon pioneers didn't know it was a common occurrence, so it was still a miracle to them.

Either way, I'm just glad God answers our prayers.

UPDATE AGAIN: My Visiting Teacher had been planning to do something special BEFORE my husband even contacted her. :)

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Opposition in All Things

My husband came home from work the other day saying that he'd heard someone speak on getting good sleep. Apparently the speaker had the opportunity to sleep in as long as she wanted for quite some time, and eventually fell into a 11 to 7 pattern or something. She shared how good she felt and how she didn't need stuff like coffee anymore.

I asked, "Did this person have kids?" I was guessing not. Evan replied, "No, she has a boyfriend and a dog." Ha. I knew it.

Recently it's really struck me that even though I know I need to sleep more and I know I need to eat better, I JUST CAN'T. Ok, I can probably continue to try and eat better, but frankly, I can't control my sleep. There's a cute little person who wakes me up once or twice a night who wants to eat. So, even though I know what is good and healthy, I still have opposition to good things.  Good isn't always easy.

I think I get caught thinking that if I make good choices, life will be easier, but you know what? It's not always true. There really is opposition in everything, both good things and bad.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Laws and Blessings

A friend recently posted an article on Facebook entitled Happiest Parents Have Four or More Children. I immediately thought, is that because they're already calm and stable enough to be able to handle it? And yes, the parents had planned and chosen the lifestyle of having that many children.  Nevertheless, it got me thinking, what are the blessings God gives us when we live his laws? Maybe we are happier when we have children (I'm still working on getting a hold on that one. We had our fifth since I last wrote. Maybe the happiness comes later?). When we pay tithing or give charitably, we feel better: just look into financial experts like David Bach or Dave Ramsey. When children serve outside their families, it has the greatest impact on them, more than serving people they know and family (sorry, I can't remember the exact benefits). Additionally, the opposite is true: when we don't live God's laws, there are natural adverse effects. You have multiple sex partners, you're quite likely to contract diseases.  Anyway, that's all.

I think blogging is good for my brain. I've saved some cool things on Pinterest and some on Facebook, now, but there's something about processing it through writing. Plus, I can always come back and see what my thoughts were when I blog about it. We'll see if I can find the time to write again now with 5 kids. I never imagined having 5!!

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Religion of a Different Color - Interview

I just finished listening to a two part interview (#22 & #23 of the Maxwell Institute podcasts) with Paul Reeve and Ardis Parshall about Reeve's book, Religion of a Different Color. This was absolutely fascinating!  Namely,

1. The author shares a primary source Mormon view of WHY some considered polygamy to be good, in that because men had greater sex drives, it allowed them to stay faithful to their wife(s) during times when it was not considered proper to have intercourse (nursing, menstruation) because they had other acceptable outlets.

2. People tried to define Mormons as a race so they could discriminate against them like they did with other races. The US was meant for white people, so white people who practiced polygamy (Mormons) didn't fit the paradigm, and they needed a way to marginalize Mormons.

3. Reeve and Parshall could not find evidence that the ban on the priesthood for blacks came from God, yet He allowed it to happen (and allows us all to reap the consequences), just like He allowed Joseph to lose the 116 pages, etc.

I loved Reeve's and Parshall's testimonies at the end. Parshall basically said there is still safety in following the prophets as they are at the helm, even if they may sometimes make mistakes.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

There Were Eminent Women, too?

You may have heard about the "eminent men" who appeared to Wilford Woodruff in the St. George Temple. Vicki Jo Anderson wrote a book about it in 2000. There are also some paintings of the event.

But did you know that there were also 68 women who appeared who had been instrumental in paving the way for the establishment our country? Hannah Moore was one of these women who appeared. How have we never heard this? What a disservice we do to the wonderful women of history by leaving them out! I wish I had more time to look into this further, but I find it fascinating. Anderson is supposed to write a book about the women, too. 

Seth Adam Smith has written a blog post about some of the women.